Last year, I gave a talk to a wonderful team committed to the concept of "Wellness". As, I tried to help them see their path to helping people achieve Wellness, I noticed so many similarities to achieving Harmony. After the talk, I sent them this email which captures many of the thoughts that we have been discussing...
Dear Friends,
This the last unsolicited email you will get from me on Harmony. If you are done with the conversation, feel free to delete this email now ;-)
There is real science as to why this all makes sense and works!
The essence of all success and happiness is harmony – and harmony is created in each moment when we embrace the "IS", the absolute truth. From that place of strength and gratitude we are able to move toward who we want to be, in ourselves, in our relationships, in our services, in our companies, and in every aspect of our lives.
So, why does it work? Why is it so POWERFUL???
EVERYTHING IS ABOUT PEOPLE. People are at the heart of companies and at the heart of moments. People are the ones who motivate us, or the ones who demotivate us.
I used to think that people where motivated by love. Then I looked deeper.
I used to think that people where motivated by connection. Then I looked deeper.
I used to think that people where motivated by being truly seen… and that was getting closer.
Now, I get that people are ultimately motivated by our deeply held desire to simply ADD value, and our our need for SOMEONE to acknowledge it.
We ultimately, simply and deeply need people to verify that we exist…
And, when you focus each moment in anchoring on the "absolute truth", when you realize you cannot own the absolute truth, and you figure out how to "share it"… To acknowledge the absolute truth is to accept that at the core of every moment are people who care. Accept that people are working in their own way to add value, that they are consuming in a way that makes them receive value…
When you focus on the nucleus of each moment as the "IS", you spend your time focussing on feeding the very essence of those around you – and working harder to make sure you acknowledge their contribution, their intent, their commitment, their value. And, as you do it more and more and better and better, people feel it. And people start to expand and contribute and participate in a bigger way. People meaning your colleagues, your managers, your clients…
If in every moment we are feeding the very essence of our human need, and from that place of trust working to expand it, then not only do results happen, but people love the ride! There is science that I can share, and I did not start this as an experiment, but as an observation. The more I read, the more I learn, the more I am convinced it is as simple, and as hard as this.
A few years ago, I thought to myself, if I want to be strong and live well, how many healthy meals do I need to eat? How many miles do I need to run? How many push ups do I need to do? How many times do I need to say no to unhealthy things? The thought of that is overwhelming. How I can possibly make a commitment that is that massive?
When we look at health, wellness or harmony as a lifetime commitment, it is daunting. And, fundamentally unachievable.
There are thousands of books written about living well, and yet millions and millions of people who read those books fail over and over again. I have no desire to write another book. I want, like you, to be next to people in the push up, in the struggle, in the battle and in the victory. Because that is where they need us, and that is where the magic happens.
A few of you have asked, how do I get started?
I would say its this simple… ASK QUESTIONS, ASK QUESTIONS, ASK QUESTIONS! In every moment, ask questions to those around you. It's the most powerful thing I can offer you. Ask questions! They uncover truths, they expand your mind, they let people know you care, they bring ideas, they inspire thought, they create options.
1. What do you most need to do the greatest job possible?
2. What do we most need to make this business successful?
3. What do you most need from me?
You see when we ask questions, we start to uncover the truth of those around us. And, don't ask once, ask again and again. The answers change. And then, truly consider the possibility of what you hear, and let people know that you are considering it, by asking more questions. Ask 3 questions before offering anything of your own – and when you finally offer something, if you've truly been listening, you will also e heard!
To achieve wellness, is identical to achieving harmony, and achieving great business success. You must achieve it in every moment. And, you will fail in some moments, and you must simply show up in the next moment and try all over again. And as you succeed, moments beget moments, and harmony begets harmony, much like wellness begets more wellness.
It's powerful, its magical, and its who we already are!
Nestor Benavides