I may have shared the quote, “You cannot teach anyone anything. You can only expose people to ideas, and only they can decide what to embrace and adopt.” (Author Unknown)
As we prepare for our end of quarter meetings, I was talking to one of our Directors about the upcoming meetings and the conversation went like this…
“We have talked about these topics over and over with the teams… They have heard all of this before… Yet they still want to talk about it.”
I, for one, don’t know anyone that likes to have conversations over and over again, unless of course, they fundamentally disagree with the direction or conclusion, or if there was no direction or conclusion reached.
If anyone that works for me wants to have a conversation… I am ALL EARS! My job as a leader is to engage people in the direction of our company. If someone wants to talk to me, I am going to assume that its because they are struggling with what we are doing in some way, or they have a better way to approach it. In both cases, I want to know what it is.
I am convinced that if you want to be an effective leader you have to be constantly creating an environment open to people’s views and then you have to be curious and engaged when they take you up on it.
If people are concerned about the direction that I am setting and they have enough energy to want to discuss it…. I want them to discuss it with ME, not with everyone else. I am in the best position to resolve things.
If I am not interested in the conversation, I am not interested in their opinion.
If I am not interested in the conversation, I am not interested in the obstacles that are in my way.
If I am not interested in the conversation, I am not leading.
The conversation is everything.
The most important part of my role as a leader
is not to set the direction…
is not to craft the plan to succeed…
is not to have the final say…
The most important part of my role as a leader
Is to ENGAGE my team to move toward our goal….
Is to INSPIRE my team to move toward our goal…
Is to ENERGIZE my team to move toward our goal…
And, so, HOW do I do that?
Correct… HARMONY!
I can’t force my team to be engaged, inspired or energized.
People know that they are their only boss… they ultimately do only that which they choose to do…
SO, how do I get them to move toward our goal?
I need anchor them in the absolute truth of our direction…
I need to engage them in a conversation about all that we have going for us as a company…
I need to make them aware of all of the value that they have to contribute to our team…
I need to help them see that we are inherently capable and valuable, that they are inherently capable and valuable, and I need to help them see the reasons why we will succeed as well as the challenges that we will face… I have to convince them, or better yet, I have to give them the perspective so that they can conclude for themselves that we can win, and that it wont come easy.
This is the absolute truth.
It has to start there.
Once we are anchored in truth…
Then, I have to help them FIND WITHIN THEMSELVES the reasons why they WANT TO SUCCEED.
I can’t give them the reasons. I can share some examples… but I must engage them in the conversation of why does expanding our truth into a bigger truth make sense for them?
And remember, this happens over and over again.
In every moment they think about our goals, they have to reengage themselves.
In every moment they discuss our goals with their colleagues or direct reports… they have to inspire, engage and energize their teams…
I am not talking about cheer leading. I am talking about rational discussion.
As human beings we want to add value.
As human beings we want to grow.
As human beings we are full of dreams.
My role as a leader is to tap into those three fundamental believes and help you associate those with the journey that we are undertaking… so that you will fight of your own free spirit and will… so that you will want to champion our team to victory for your own benefit, and mine…
That is leadership.
As human beings, we exchange energy through our ideas and we consume energy through our fears… both of which are shared in conversation…
Do you want your son to do his homework?
Do you want your spouse to pay more attention to you?
Do you want your direct report to fight for your cause?
Do you want the people working for you to work with passion and conviction?
you have to shift your approach…
you are NOT the boss of them!
THEY ARE THEMSELVES THEIR OWN BOSS…
As human beings we exchange energy through conversation…
So, as your leader, as your friend, as your partner, as your champion, as your supporter…
I say my role is easy:
My role is to make sure that every conversation that needs to happen, can happen and does happen. PERIOD.
In the conversations, I am not your boss… I am your friend, I am your colleague, I am your mentor, I am your advisor, I am your confidant, I am your student… I am NOT your BOSS!
You don’t want a boss, and you wouldn’t listen to him anyway!
Sure its easier to just tell people what to do…
But its infinitely less effective.
Leverage harmony to inspire…
But the challenge is that you can’t fake harmony…
You can’t show people gratitude if you don’t really feel it.
You can’t show people empathy if you don’t really feel it.
You cant convey confidence if you don’t have it.
Harmony requires integrity.
Harmony requires sincerity.
Harmony requires RELENQUISHING what you may want to believe so that you may believe what you need to believe.
Steven Covey tells a story in his book, “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” that when he was cheering for his son in baseball it was empty and ineffective, until he decided to actually believe that his son was a good player… and then everything changed.
Leading ain’t about cheer-leading.
Leading is about BELIEVING… letting people KNOW that you believe…
AND THEN ENABLING THEM TO BELIEVE THEMSELVES!
And, the magic all happens in the conversation…
In every conversation…
Leadership... like harmony... doesn't happen over time, or in the past or in the future...
Leadership happens in the moment... in every moment
When you are a leader, you are always leading, you are always inspiring, you are always engaging….
Leaders that don't get that... aren't leaders...
Moments beget moments
Harmony begets harmony, and
Leadership begets Leadership…
I am NOT the BOSS of 'ye...
I am the BOSS of ME!
Yours in harmony,
Nestor