Choice is such a core component of harmony…
WHY?
Because the fact that we have a choice is a core part of our absolute truth.
Because if we believe we have no choice, we feel trapped, and WISH we did…
And, wishing is disharmony.
Because we simply DO.
There are those things we cannot choose…
Other than our own mortality – virtually everything else is a choice…
I believe that even our fears are within our control.
Perhaps, its not that we “choose to fear”, but more accurately, that we “choose to accept our fear” or we “choose not to work on alleviating our fear”…
CHOICES… CHOICES… CHOICES…
Why are we so unwilling to accept them?
Perhaps because we become ultimately accountable for ourselves and that is scary (and ironic ;-)
Perhaps because we become overwhelemed by the number of decisions we would have to consciously make…
Perhaps because we haven’t developed the strength to acknowledge them…
There are two truths about of our freedom to choose…
1. We cannot choose everything…
Whether we acknowledge it or not… we tend to want to choose everything… We want to be healthy and fit and we want to eat what we want.
We want our spouse to be everything we want for in a spouse.
We want to spend time with our familie, we want to succeed at work, we want to see our friends, we want alone time….
We can’t have everything…
At least not in the same moment, and possibly not everything at every level in a single life…
We have to CHOOSE!
2. We can choose harmony….
So many people don’t realize they have this choice. I was reading an article on the 5 wisdoms of dying beings, and the 5th and “most surprising” revelation told by people about to die is CHOOSE HAPPINESS…
Why do older people and people about to die realize this – but so many of us in “full swing” don’t?
See “”We cannot choose everything” above…
We probably can’t choose happiness, because we are trying to choose everything!!!
It has been a life altering revelation to accept the things that I can choose.
On things like marriage, I truly believe that part of the reason there is so much divorce is that people don’t see staying married as a choice. They struggle for a long time. They sometimes suffocate under the thought that they DON’T have a choice, because of kids or their vows or whatever… until the pain, frustration, loneliness is so great that they have NO choice but to get divorced. Ironic.
I am not judging divorce, just observing.
DISCLAIMER: While I believe this point is very much "on point" it does not apply to all relationships and all divorces. I have many friends going through difficult times - and I know that every situation is unique and different... but consider the thought...
It could be for any long term relationship personal or professional.
It very much applies to our JOB, just as much as it does your marriage!
Does that make any sense? It makes so much sense to me…
You suffer because you don’t realize you have a choice, until you are SO angry or hurt or disappointed that you have NO choice but to leave because it doesn’t work anymore.
I believe if you live always conscious that it is a CHOICE everyday… and if you make that choice everyday to be there, then the anger , the frustration, the loneliness doesn’t mount – it gets resolved everyday – and it puts you in a much better mental state to actually work to make it better. The feeling of having no choice becomes a spiral of disharmony that ultimately makes the “alternative” the only choice left.
There was a blog that I read about a man who had gotten divorced. In retrospect, he realizes all the mistakes that he made, and how much he regrets it... Extremely reflective and insightful, and he talks about many things... and ultimately... he says, ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE, ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE, ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE... So ironic, why is it that in the end near death, after divorce, after leaving a long time employment... you are so much clearer on the choices that you HAD...
I am trying to tell you... realize the choices WHILE you have them... if you live in the moment... the choices are more likely to be acted upon.
I have chosen not to fear death.
I have chosen to focus as much as I can on living the moment.
I have chosen to be mindful of what I eat (that is a tough one!!! And I fail all the time – still by choice)
I have chosen to love my children and my wife
I have chosen to love myself.
I have chosen to forgive my parents for not being perfect ;-)
I have chosen to forgive myself…
I have chosen harmony as the way I approach every aspect of my life.
I have chosen to trust people.
I have chosen to never stop learning.
I have chosen to never stop trying.
I choose to see the opportunity in the situation.
I choose not to hate.
I choose to work.
I choose to be responsible.
I choose to be myself.
I choose to try harder.
I choose candor.
I choose to stay in it!
I choose my values.
I choose to care… I choose to care like crazy!
I choose harmony!
I choose gratitude.
I choose happiness!
Nestor