This weekend I was reminded that you can only push so far... our kids, young and old, are like our spouses, like our colleagues, like ourselves... like everyone else we know.
Nobody wants to be told what to do.
We so badly want to figure stuff out ourselves, and we learn and remember our lessons so much better, when we are our own teachers.
I can see it in my son's eyes, when he shifts into the "I KNOW dad" mindset.
He gives me so much room, that sometimes I forget there is a line.
But, when I cross the line I feel it immediately.
And, at that point I have options:
1. "You need to LISTEN to me! I have been around for years. I know what I am talking about!"
2. "You should be grateful for this advice I am giving you! This is my time too you know!"
3. "You think you know everything... well let me tell you..."
I would have heard one of those as a kid. And, I would have shut down even further, like most other human beings...
So, I picked option 4...
"I have said enough. Thank you for listening to me and including me. You are doing amazing stuff. I am truly so crazy proud of you. I am here if you need me. I love you!"
And, I need to remind myself that "perfection" is not having your children do exactly what you would do. "Perfection" is having your children create their own vision, spread their own wings, open their own minds, and be open to asking for help along the way.
The absolute truth is that we want to create our own success. We want to fly free. We don't want to be told what to do.
As parents, my truth is that I want to assist when the moment is there... and let them soar and crash on ocassion (hopefully in controlled ways) as part of their journeys.
I want him to be strong and independent and confident and considerate.
And, I need to give him the space to explore and create, and I need to be grateful for how very much he includes me along his journey.
I have said enough ;-) You go big man... impress the world! I am here for you always. Leap off your own cliff and fly. And, for you to fly as well... I need to continue to let go.
Yours in harmony,
Nestor