Two years ago, almost to the day, I made a decision that I couldn’t lose weight on my own. I started a program called Ideal Protein and lost 40 lbs in about 8 weeks.
I had tried to lose weight for 25 years and had lost and gained the same 15 – 20 pounds many times over.
There was a moment when the “truth” seemed so clear.
I haven’t succeeded on my own despite doing a ton of exercise.
I haven’t succeeded on my own despite trying a thousand times.
I am not likely to succeed on my own.
Three things changed on that 3rd of June, 2012.
I accepted that I could not do it on my own,
I started a new program that had fixed sized portions for most of my meals,
And, I realized that the only place I existed was in the moment.
Much like the concept of harmony… I couldn’t lose weight in the past.
What I had eaten for the past 30 years, the past month, the past week… even for the past hour was IRRELEVANT. It had nothing to do with the current moment.
Much like the concept of harmony… I couldn’t lose weight in the future.
The fact that I wanted to lose 40 lbs in the coming months was irrelevant. I can’t lose weight “in the future”. Because it doesn’t exist yet.
The only place harmony can be achieved, the only place happiness can be felt, the only place I can control dropping weight is in the RIGHT NOW.
The guilt of the past, the desire of the future – both irrelevant.
The actions of the NOW – are the only ones that matter. EVERY LITTLE BIT COUNTS!
That was the A HA moment… Every french fry, every bite of pizza and pancake that I take off the boys plate, every little piece of bread and butter that I steal late at night from the covert… is a moment of disharmony.
When my mind shifted from losing 40 lbs over 2 months, to not eating the extra bite, not having the extra plate, not getting up from the couch for the wrong reasons… that is where weight loss happens. Not 10 lbs at a time, but one small decision at a time.
I am writing this because I have forgotten this lesson over the past 2 years.
Good news is that I have managed to keep the vast majority of the weight loss off, but I have inched back 10 lbs of the 40 that I have lost, and I DO NOT want to go back to where I came from.
I have felt amazing for the past two years. I have felt like a million bucks. And, now I feel like half a million… and heading in the wrong direction.
I need to RESET and REFOCUS. And, I will… I must.
There are days when I wonder, can I continue to workout for the next several decades? I should be so lucky. The question is not can I work out for the next decade... but can I work out tomorrow? Sure. One day, one moment at a time!
What amazes me and interests me is watching my own mind work, watching my own weakness and lack of discipline fight against my own desire and ambition. It does tire me, but I can’t help but be drawn to it.
It’s in the moment… such a simple concept, but so difficult to fully embrace.
I am able to run faster & hurt less…
I ain’t giving up.
People ask me if I am still losing weight.
I tell them, quite the opposite.
They say that I am ‘too critical of myself’, and I assure them that I am not.
I know my absolute truth.
I know how good its felt.
I know the power of harmony and the power of feeling strong…
And it all happens ONLY in the moment.
It’s the only place we can accomplish anything.
I believe whole-heartedly that anything that is alive... is in a constant state of growing or decaying... there is no status quo. Every living being pivots on the moment - for better or for worse.
We don't get smarter
We don't succeed
We don't find happiness
We don't lose weight
over time...
It happens in each and every moment...
And, if you can assemble enough good moments back to back - you celebrate a trend.
I will keep you posted on my progress...
There is no absolute win. There is only an absolute truth. And, get to play our best hand and the best version of ourselves in every moment.
And, right NOW... I intend to lose to WIN!
Yours in harmony,
Nestor