I will get back to my favorite quotes... I promise. But not today.
Someone said to me yesterday, "I am going to defriend you from Facebook".
"You do whatever you need to do and whatever makes you happy" - I said, guessing where this was going. It's not the first time that I have heard it.
And, though I know its often said in jest... I think it also carries alot of truth. (Some people have defriended me or at least hidden me from view ;-)
"I hate reading all your positiveness everyday... it makes me angry". He said.
I think he was serious. I don't think he will defriend me, and completely respect it if he does... but I wish this person knew all that was inside my mind.
I have critical feelings and thoughts all day long.
My life, my decisions, my opportunities... my EVERY DAY is questioned constantly in my mind.
And, there is a voice inside my mind that keeps saying... "Keep going".
That's the inspired voice...
the hopeful voice...
They are both MY voices, and they create the conversation constantly going on inside my mind.
And, then there is the voice of reason, rationality that steps in and always settles the argument.
I don't publish my critical voice... much.
I don't do it for two reasons...
First, because the less I acknowledge it, the less attention I pay to it, the weaker it becomes. So, I have no desire to put a voice in the world that is heard that brings disharmony into anyone's moment. WHAT FOR? WHY DELIBERATELY FEED DISHARMONY?
And, Second, because I think that my critical voice is AS correct as my inspired voice. It's just on the WISHING side of WANT. If you have two meals in front of you... both arguably will satisfy your hunger, but one will make you STRONG and POWERFUL and one will make you weak, unhappy and powerless... WHY ON EARTH WOULD I CONSUME OR SERVE UP THE OTHER?
I get what my friend was saying.
I sometimes feel taken back by the constant HAPPINESS or perceived happiness of some people. At least, I used to.
Maybe its ENVY...
For me, at least, I am turned off by superficial happiness. I am turned off by happiness that exists by AVOIDING or IGNORING truth. I am turned off by happiness that trivializes how challenging being happy can be. I am turned off by happiness that is at the expense of someone else's happiness.
I get that...
My posts... these conversations are NEVER trying to convey that happiness or success are easy. In fact, I think its possibly the hardest thing for us as humans to achieve.
My posts... these conversations are about the reality that happiness and success are momentary. They exist only in the moment. And, that is why we must be constantly committed to them. That is why we must be constantly IN DELIBERATE SEARCH and ACTION for them. That is why we must be MINDFUL in every moment that our brain is making a CHOICE between harmony and disharmony... between embracing truth and moving it toward our want... or wishing things were different and failing to understand all that defines the situation.
If everyone on the internet was posting harmony...
I WOULDN'T. There would be no need.
I would argue so much of what is posted, written... LIVED is so full of disharmony...
That the world NEEDS for all of us to SPEAK UP for HARMONY... If we care about each other...
The world needs more voices that speak to success and happiness in a more real and actionable way...
It is not because I am always in harmony... FAR FROM IT.
It is because I am constantly aware of harmony... that I publish my thoughts.
It is because I am constantly attempting to be deliberate about CHOOSING harmony in my moments... and often failing, that the conversation in my head must continue.
And, it is because, the longer I stay in this conversation, with myself and with you... the STRONGER I feel... the DEEPER is my PEACE... the greater is MY RESOLVE... the MORE CONSTANT is my harmony and thus my happiness and my success...
You do whatever it is that you need to do.
My thoughts are far from constantly positive... as I am sure are yours.
A life of harmony doesn't require a constant stream of positive thoughts... it requires a constant and deliberate DISCIPLINE to choose the healthier "meal"... the healthier voice in the conversation of our own minds.
That is why I dont call this a blog...
To me its a conversation...
I try to publish thoughts that are real, and to me, if embraced, powerful.
Yesterday on facebook I posted...
"The only way to change the world is to change yourself and share your inspiration and your lessons along the way..."
I published it because I truly believe it... because I think so many of us naively want the world to change by having everyone else in the world change around us.... to match us... We trivialize how HARD change is... growth is.. And, we forget that ultimately... NO ONE CAN CHANGE US...
We change OURSELVES... by paying attention to the conversation in our own heads and choosing the right voice... AND then, when we change ourselves we begin to change the world.
To expect more than that, in my opinion, is arrogant.
Love my man Ghandi... "Be the change you wish to see in the world".
And be the CHAMPION of the inspired voice inside of your mind.
If you reject my voice, and you have every right to... I would question whether you are rejecting the voice within your own mind that is trying to set you free.
I know you are in this conversation because you already get it... so you already know it ain't so easy... STAY IN IT...
Yours in harmony,
Nestor