NOTE: This is an update to a post from a year ago. It is a concept that I aspire to, and that I am very conscious of as we near the turn of the year. A time for goal setting? Maybe. Maybe NOT!
Are GOALS the right way to get motivated?
Are GOALS the best way to capture our desires and our objectives?
What about a life with no "measurable" goals?
Scary thought, because we have been SO brainwashed to believe in 'em?
GOALS are SUCH the source of disharmony!
- Goals put us in a constant mindset and awareness of "I am not there, yet!" We set goals that define our "wants" or our "wishes". but in either case, they always define something beyond who we currently are... So as a result of them, we are ultra conscious of the GAP, and we are constantly reminded of the fact that we are not enough.... YET. Sometimes we can see the gap as an opportunity (HARMONY), and sometimes we see the gap as a deficiency (DISHARMONY).
- Goals so often put our minds constantly away from THIS moment... They pull our minds constantly into a time that doesn't exist - "somewhere in the future". By the very nature that they lay out an objective that we want to, but have not yet achieved, goals put us out in time. And, one of the core concepts of harmony is that we can ONLY act and find SUCCESS in the MOMENT. This very moment, is the only MOMENT where we exist... where we can make a difference... where we can experience JOY!
- Unfortunately, most of us are not good "celebrators"! So, goals make us spend our lives mindful of "the gap", focused on a point "somewhere out in time" that we cannot affect over time, but only in the moment, and then if we succeed and ACTUALLY achieve our goal, we most often run right over it and SET A NEW ONE. It's just a goal... it's just a moment in time. We don't want to own the effort of achieving it most often. We are programmed to SET a new one, since this one is done. Or at a minimum, move on. We don't linger in celebration because we need to get goin'! We don't OWN our effort... our success... we are off jumping into new GAPS!
We are always DOING things to ACHIEVE things... to REACH things...
It FEELS wrong.
And, if not wrong, it feels UNWISE and UNFULFILLING... and WASTEFUL.
Maybe not "wrong", but certainly "sub-optimal"...
If our true objective is to live in HARMONY and in JOY... and to feel success.
WHAT IF...
What if instead of goals, we committed to "A WAY OF LIFE.... A WAY OF BEING".
What if instead of "our profit goal is $20 Million", we said "We are committed to being Profitable , and BEING more profitable quarter after quarter?... or better yet... what if we committed to living profitably EVERY DAY... making decisions every day to drive profitability, reduce costs"
What if instead of saying "I want to lose 15 pounds, I said I want to BE better committed to wellness and health? Or, better yet, what if I my objective was simply to BE more committed to making the healthy choice at mealtime... and to make physical exercise a way of life?"
What if instead of telling our kids " Get all A's and B's or no more than 2 Bs, we said BE ENGAGED in LEARNING... BE CURIOUS and BE THOROUGH? Or better yet, what if we showed up everyday curious ourselves to explore with them.
What if instead of saying "I want to build a $100 million dollar company", I said, "I want to bring unique value to property owners every day. I want our company to help them make and execute the very best decisions they can EVERY DAY for their businesses, for their clients, for their shareholders. EVERY DAY I want to be the company that HELPS our clients measure and assess their buildings RIGHT, FAST and more reliably than ANYONE else. How would that change our culture?
What if instead of saying "I want to write a book." We said, I want to be committed to exploring and sharing ideas. And, I want to share a new idea everyday, and find more ways over time to impact more and more lives. I want to show up everyday and share wisdom."
Would we possibly...
LIVE HAPPIER?
ACHIEVE EVEN MORE?
REACH LEVELS OF SUCCESS AND PEACE OF MIND THAT WE DIDN'T THINK WHERE POSSIBLE?
WOULD WE POTENTIALLY MOVE OURSELVES FROM LIVING IN THE GAP, of what we haven't yet achieved... INTO THE WORLD AND JOY of who we ALREADY ARE?
Move from a world of TRYING to a world of BEING?
You read that people who write down goals achieve them more often,,,
I have heard that - and I believe it. But at what cost? HOW HAPPY are they that achieve them? And, what happens to the very large percentage of people who wrote them down and didn't achieve them?
BECAUSE YOU ALSO READ THAT the majority of people who have achieved GREAT success in transforming or creating companies, who have made it HUGE were less focused on "pursuing goals" and much more focused on "bringing their vision to life", being "TRUE to what they believed and who they were". They were showing up in every moment not focused on "goals", but focused on bringing a way of being to life!
Who do you admire? Whose success and life do you wish to emulate? How big a factor was goal setting versus vision living a part of their existence?
Jobs, Bezos, Ghandhi, Mother Theresa, Chris Kyle (The American Sniper), Micheal Jordan, Brene Brown ;-), Jack Welch, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Tesla (both of them) ... I don't think they were driven by goals... they were or are driven by A WAY OF BEING and the desire to bring something to LIFE.
What if we took the pressure away from ourselves with respect to constant goal creation and over-measurement and focused solely on THE MOMENT and HOW WE SHOW UP IN IT? WHAT WE INSPIRE in them? WHAT WE BRING TO LIFE & MAKE REAL in every moment?
SURE, I get it.
We need to do some PLANNING.
We need in business and in life to have some IDEA of our desired and actual pace, but if that is what it is, it is a PLAN and a PACE... maybe a DIRECTION or a DESTINATION... but NOT a "GOAL"... or a "MARKER" that simply flags that we aren't there yet... aren't enough yet?
We COMMIT to a WAY OF BEING, and we always craft a PLAN to give us some framework.
And, then we just KEEP SHOWING UP, DAY AFTER DAY, DAY AFTER DAY... COMMITTED and BEING to the best of our ability, and finding harmony...
I always say that I am driven by being better today than I was yesterday... COULD THAT BE ALL I NEED? To be simply and truly committed to that end... and HONEST every day as to my progress?
TRUST me... The THOUGHT scares me too! I have been a champion of goals. I have been running around the muddy track, whipping myself for years and years trying to run faster, leaner, smarter, wealthier, and all kinds of "ers".
And, its worked... in many ways...
It's worked in that - I have an AMAZING life and family and circle of friends and business...
But I have been down too often in disharmony.
I have spent WAY TOO MANY MOMENTS, feeling so very inadequate and unaccomplished.
I have struggled with peace of mind and joy too many moments along the way. Or, even if that is overstated... I have WASTED way too many moments of celebrating who I am... And, importantly, I have WASTED too many moments where I could have accomplished MORE, MUCH MORE... if I had just EMBRACED my VISION... and owned my BEING.
Could I have achieved an even more AMAZING life and family if I had just committed myself to BE in the moment those things that I constantly REACH for?
Could I commit to doing the BEST that I can in every moment to BE a GREAT FATHER,, and not set "goals" to it?
DO GOALS actually LIMIT our POTENTIAL and set us down a path that often LACKS joy along the way? Or maybe just makes joy harder to find and own?
COULD I BE BETTER, COULD I POSSIBLY BE THE VERY BEST VERSION OF MYSELF... BY JUST FOCUSING ON BEING ,because the truth is when we carry the weight and the stress and the disharmony of deficiency of "the gap" others around us feel it. WOW DO THEY FEEL IT!!!! And, it affects them TOO!!!
Our own belief that we are NOT enough is visible and palpable in how we live, how we love, how we interact... and makes those around us very often feel NOT ENOUGH too!
Could it be this simple and this different from what so many have written?
I'm going to try it for a little while.
I want to have a plan... but I am going to run without "goals"...
I am going to stop focusing on DOING more to ACHIEVE more...
and I am going to try to BE more in the moment, the man that I know I want to BE...
Trust me... It's scary...
But it feels so RIGHT...
I am going to BE more loving, more considerate, more comfortable, more profitable, more scalable, more strategic....
NO NO NO NO NO!!!
I am going to BE LOVING, CONSIDERATE, COMFORTABLE, PROFITABLE, SCALABLE and STRATEGIC....
I AM GOING TO BE... MORE... and MORE OFTEN...
IN THE MOMENT...
In 2016...
And, succeed or fail, in the next moment, I am going to show up and try again to BE the best version of myself that I can possibly reach.
In 2016, I will not state a "GOAL" for my weight. I am going to work hard on NOT setting goals... and do my very best not to... to see how it goes and how it feels.
But I will write down the WAY I CHOOSE TO BE...
I will be HONEST in my assessment of my progress, and I will adjust based on the TRUTH.
But, I am going to work on BEING...
BECAUSE I am convinced that it is a path with greater happiness and joy...
Harmony begets harmony...
There is a better way...
DON't BE IN THE GAP! BE IN THE MOMENT and in the ACT of bringing your BEST SELF YOUR BEST COMPANY YOUR BEST VISIONS TO LIFE... ;-)
BE in harmony!
Nestor