I was driving my aunt to the airport on Monday.
She was heading back to South America from her visit.
I was listening to her talk, and was amazed by the continuous stream of disharmony that she was placing on herself.
Almost every thought she shared was driven by WISHING things, people were different.
She always reminds me that I used to tell people she was my second mom.
And, I still feel like she indeed was.
I stayed with her when I was a young boy, and my sister went for medical attention to the United States.
She is the kind of woman, who is motherly to everyone she knows. She is amazingly caring and does everything she can for everyone.
And, that is an exhausting way to be.
We talked about the importance of doing things because she CHOSE to do them, not because she felt like she HAD to do them. She paused and really seemed to think about it. I told her, she would likely end up doing virtually everything she does today, but it would leave a very different taste in her day.
I could hear it in her voice… there are two voices in her head.
The one is the one that tells her she WANTS to be helpful.
And, the OTHER one makes her WISH that she didn’t feel so obligated to do what she does.
Just spend more time listening to the one that is the one that CHOOSES to be helpful.
There was a long pause…
In Spanish she asked me, “Estas PREOCUPADO con tus papas?”
The literal translation is “Are you PRE-OCCUPIED with your parents?”
But, in Spanish, “preocupado” / “preoccupied” really means STRESSED about, or ANXIOUS about your parents, not just are you distracted by the thought.
I paused.
The short answer was DEFINITELY NOT… but, I was trying to think about how to explain it.
“Words matter”, I told her.
“I am definitely NOT PRE-OCUPADO… I am occasionally OCUPADO”…
Meaning, I am not PRE-OCCUPIED with my parents… I am not stressed about them.
I am just OCCUPIED at times with what I need to do with them.
I feel no stress, it just takes time occasionally to engage and resolve.
She loved the thought.
I don’t have to be pre-occupied, I just have to be occupied when I choose to and I need to be occupied. There is no reason to be PRE-OCCUPIED before its time to act.
PRE-OCCUPIED in Spanish, and English is a mind state.
OCCUPIED is a physical state.
Difficult situations in my life very seldom take my mindshare or impact my mindset. They simply impact my physical state of action when it is time to do something about them.
They are little details.
Maybe you are even rolling your eyes.
But, those details are the difference between living a life that you control, and a life that controls you!
Those little details are the ones that define the difference between living a life of harmony, or disharmony.
Do you use words that encourage you to WISH for things to be different?
Do you think in a way that encourages you to WISH for a different situations, people, behaviors?
OR – do you think in a way that allows you to OWN your life, your situations, your issues?
WORDS MATTER…
Listen to your thoughts, and listen to how you are setting them up…
LIVE THE LIFE YOU CHOSE TO LIVE, not the one you HAVE to live!
Harmony is a discipline…
And, we have SO much more control over our lives and our happiness than we are willing to accept…
Trust me…
Every moment, every word, every thought matters…
OWN IT!
Yours in occupied harmony,
Nestor