April 2, 2014 — Nestor Benavides
my EGO and me
I realize the importance everyday of the awareness that my EGO and me are not the same person, we just leverage the same mind.
Self awareness is one of the traits that I find to be most valuable in a life of harmony.
It is likely THE most important trait...
And, effective and accurate self awareness requires us to know our EGO and to start to understand how it influences our view of ourselves and our reality.
I know many people who claim to be "self aware", but the level of their self awareness is a function of the level of their ability to separate themselves from their EGO.
Now, we can never do that completely. At least, I don't know of anyone who can.
The absolute truth on this one is complex:
We can only see the absolute truth to the level that we can see around our own ego.
Our EGO while separate from who we are, from our consciousness, influences everything we see.
So, how can we see the truth if we are always influenced by our EGO?
We need to learn how our EGO distorts and influences the truth so that we can adjust it.
I know its hard, but its so very real and powerful.
I see my EGO almost like a pair of glasses.
While I realize that I really can never FULLY remove them, I know that my ego influences me and I am constantly trying to be aware of how it does, so that I can see beyond it.
This, I am convinced, allows me to see a bigger truth, a more real truth, and I believe it is at the heart of why people trust me, and why I can see situations and complexities beyond the emotions more clearly than others.
Remember, from earlier posts, that part of the way to understand the distortion our own EGO places on our world is by ASKING LOTS OF QUESTIONS and TRULY BEING INTERESTED IN THE ANSWER.
Asking questions allows us to see the truth from multiple perspectives - and if you do that with a real ability to listen (again be mindful that our EGO influences what we hear)... you can see the truth that exists as the common denominator to all of the perspectives that you hear.
It truly is an amazing exercise.
So often, I see people asking questions but "hearing only what they want to hear"... that's EGO.
So often, I see people trying to see things but only "seeing what they want to see"... that's EGO.
Sometimes EGO is a good thing. It gives us our conviction and our confidence. It protects us.
Oh my, how it tries to protect us...
But in my search for harmony, I find my EGO to get in the way almost every time.
The level to which I can separate myself from my EGO... Is the level to which I succeed.
Perhaps not financially.
At least not yet.
But, as I can see beyond my own EGO I see how little I really care about money.
Sure, I want to show my family the world. I want to not be concerned about our financial stability. I want to pay for my boys colleges.
But, more than that, I want to make the world around me a better place.
Again, slippery slope...
If I want to make the world around me a better place to stroke my ego... I slide... I become motivated to the right objective but with the wrong purpose.
If I want to make the world around me a better place simply because that is the philosophy of life that I value... then its the right objective for the right reasons.
You can relate this to your spouse or to anyone really... If we are being nice, because we want them to be nice to us... that is a good thing, but the minute they are not nice to us, we get upset. We are ultimately doing it for selfish reasons.
If we are being nice, simply because that is who we are, then find harmony just in our being nice, and we have greater patience and success, and we dont get upset if they at times get frustrated or annoyed.
So, I aspire to selflessness, and I seldom truly achieve it... but,
I am still ambitious... I want to maximize my time on earth. I want to make my moments count. I want to learn and grow everyday. And, I believe the level to which I become selfish FOR THE RIGHT REASONS... and selfless FOR THE RIGHT reasons... I will achieve a level of success that will include wealth in the most meaningful of ways...
Money is just one of them... it is critically important... but it is not essential... and it will always only be a means to the end... which is happiness itself...
Don't misunderstand me... our EGO is crazy IMPORTANT.
It is there to make sure that we are not being taken advantage of...
It's our EGO that doesn't allow us to be abused or disrespected...
It is there to make sure that we protect ourselves when those rare opportunities present themselves...
But it is truly SO CRAZY RARE that we need to "protect" ourselves at home or at work. At least, MOST of the people I know are blessed in that they don't have to worry about that.
So, in the VAST majority of moments in my life, my EGO really only needs to be on standby.
I have often heard that if you reach true selflessness you reach nirvana.
I can see why that is the ultimate end.
Think Ghandhi and you need to think no more...
Think of how his selflessness changed the world...
I am an ordinary man...
My EGO and me, we are buds. We hang out all the time.
Sometimes, I downplay our friendship. It's like a few of those friends you had in high school that you really liked, but you didnt tell alot of people you were close ;-)
But, I realize that our friendship is too close.
I need to get out and really meet more people.
I need to continue to step out into the world, leaving him at home.
I need to remind myself constantly, that I don't need him most of the time.
I don't know if I can leave him at home, but maybe I can just leave him in the car ;-)
He's there ready to come in when I need him.
It is amazing... My EGO and me... as long as we have known each other... are still finding out so much about each other...
He is doing better.
The better he feels, the better I feel.
But he is not me.
He is just always with me.
And, there in lies the self awareness.
Take off the glasses.
Leave your good friend and protector "in the car".
And, step out into the truth...
You'll be amazed at what you see...
You'll be amazed at how you feel...
Yours in harmony,
Nestor