One of the beautiful things about getting older,
is understanding ourselves better.
I said the other day that I am transitioning from the "desire to be better" to the "desire to be present."
Let me be crystal clear...
I expect this transition to take a decade or more ;-)
The desire to be BETTER in some unique way is so very, very deep in my fiber.
I believe that its much deeper than the desire to be right, ever was.
From wanting to come up with my own costumes for halloween,.. not only to make them original, but to make them characters that weren't even known...
To writing my own senior quote in the yearbook...
To favoring the sleeveless hoodie and camouflage pants, over the traditional t-shirt and jeans.
I remember a party in high school, where I asked a buddy what he was wearing. He never responded. When I showed up wearing a short sleeve white nylon shirt I had bought in Italy, with a black collarless shirt underneath... and he saw me, he said, "Whatever I would have answered, it would not have been THAT!"
I was the Engineering major in college that was in a fraternity.
I was the Engineering major that wanted to be in business.
My whole life, I have wanted NOT to follow the crowd...
My whole life, I have wanted to be UNIQUE... in a valuable way.
And, I see how deeply that sits inside of me.
When I started to realizing that reading could be fun, I was mezmerized by the story of people with unique journeys.
I loved the book "Pele", the autobiography of "Trump" (back when he made sense to me), the biography of "Warren Buffet", "Turner" from CNN, "Mao Tsetung", "Goebbles", "Hitler", "Pope John Paul", the books from Ayn Rand (followed by her biography)...
It was a mixture of a deep desire to LEARN... "TO BE BETTER",
And, more specifically, to LEARN "WHAT MAKES PEOPLE UNIQUELY VALUABLE"...
Heck, even now I am consumed by a combination of self help books and biographies still... It is an interest bordering on "obsession".
When I worked at Procter & Gamble - everything I did seemed to be "different"...
I wanted to embrace "Constraint Theory" to deal with manufacturing problems.
I wanted to address issues of race within the engineering group (that one got me in some heat)...
I wanted to be the engineer that didn't stay in engineering.
I went to India when no one else wanted to go.
I went to China with my wife for 3 years!
Becoming part of the dot com world...
Joining 180s, which at first was Big Bang Products... it was a company BUILT on the concept of UNIQUE and BETTER. Running R&D for them and Product Development, I not only got to do what I loved - I had to read about innovation, developing product, solving problems in a unique way.. we wanted patented different and uniquely better products. It was heaven, kind of...
When my son expressed interest in doing something different and we "reapplied" the business competition, I told him about the book "Blue Ocean Strategy"... how to produce UNIQUE value - more value at less cost. YES!!!
Heck - every book I read on strategy - defines STRATEGY as the approach for uniqueness... for unique and relevant value in the market... YES!!!
I want so desperately to create UNIQUE and RELEVANT value... I want to bring that forward... so very desperately...
It's a part of EVERYTHING that I am... that I am passionate about being...
I don't think everyone is wrong. Absolutely not.
I just think everyone is moving with the status quo... with the accepted answer... with the known approach...
BECAUSE I believe so deeply in BETTER, I know different is out there - and different is one of the key and first components of BETTER.
The company where I work - is completely different than when I started there... it's different, and I would argue better and more valuable because of the diversification that we have brought... but it can be and needs to be so much more "different" still... the diversification needs to be deeper, the cross resourcing needs to be different, the client base needs to be different, the management needs to be different...
IF I AM NOT MAKING THINGS BETTER... starting by trying out things that are different, I am of NO value.
To KEEP things going forward is so pointless to me...
I realize there is value there - but I don't want to be that guy...
To have me do something which when I leave is NO DIFFERENT and NO BETTER than when I started seems beyond pointless...
There is a voice inside my head that is constantly on me... "HOW ELSE CAN YOU DO IT?"...
Everything I look at - I consider how it can be done better.
Perfect is not a concept that I understand, nor care about...
People who think about perfect are people who are consumed with being RIGHT.
I don't care about perfect... I care about BETTER.
Every story I read about someone who created a new company... Netscape, Microsoft, APPLE!!!, Flextronics, Disney, Uber, Samsung...
I think about AYN RAND... Man is the greatest force in the universe... Man's ability to conceive to rationalize to create... that struck a chord with me.
MAN is capable of so much... And, I am "man"... and for my time here to "MATTER"... I must make something "BETTER" ;-)
It's not just something I talk about.
It's not just something I read about.
It's not just something I write about.
The desire to DO BETTER... to MAKE BETTER... to CREATE BETTER... burns in me, inspires me, haunts me...
I purposely don't WANT to follow the solutions that everyone else follows...
Not because I am hard headed, not because I am a contrarian,
but because I know rationally that the stock that will have the highest return is the one that most people aren't betting on today...
That the best ideas are so very often considered crazy when they are first conceived...
That to make something UNIQUELY better, it must be different in a way that is a little scary...
Things that have been untried, things that have failed before, things that challenge the norm...
those are the things that MOVE me... that I aspire to...
NOT risk for risks sake... RISK for BETTER's SAKE!
I have slowly studied & explored that in me...
And, I wish to UNLEASH it in me...
Perhaps... when I do... then I will simply BE, and that transition will be complete.
I must shift from the DESIRE for BE BETTER to the DESIRE TO BE...
In order to find peace within myself... otherwise the desire for better - looks like the drive for "never enough".
But, OBJECTIVELY, I look at my life and I can see what I've done...
And, I can see the value...
and I can see the POTENTIAL...
And, I KNOW deep in my heart...
There is SO MUCH MORE in me...
SO MUCH MORE VALUE
that can be brought forth.
For now...
the fire burns,
the mind turns,
the desire drives...
for better...
UNIQUELY
better...
I know that I must shift...
from considering all things that are different,
to choosing something that is different and better,
and bringing it home...
THE DESIRE FOR DIFFERENT, UNIQUE, BETTER...
Can't be an exploration
forever...
It must become
a cause...
a purpose...
a calling...
and, for that,
I must
choose...
SOMETHING...
UNIQUE
VALUABLE
and
champion it...
Bring it to LIFE!
MAKE IT SO!
BE!
in harmony,
Nestor