ARE YOU READY FOR SOME HARMONY?
I hope you are…
I am FIRED UP this week!
Life is good!
Why?
Because that is how I am choosing to SEE it and CELEBRATE IT!
I really, really hope you read this conversation all the way though today.
We drove back from South Carolina (Sunday), and as the family slept I listened to various speakers at Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday. It’s kind of a take-off on TEDx talks but focused on mindset and living more “soul-full” lives.
I was like a kid – smiling ear to ear as I heard the speakers.
If you like this kind of stuff, and haven’t checked it out on the internet – you can search “Super Soul TV Oprah”.
I realize not everyone shares the appetite that I have for these things, so I am going to share a few of them with you this week (as that is perhaps one of the reasons why you choose to stay with me in this conversation).
Shawn Achor did research on “Happiness” at Harvard for 12 years. He wrote the book “The Happiness Advantage.” I suspect that I have written about him before, and he is certainly worth covering at LEAST twice. He could have titled his book, “The HARMONY Advantage.”
What is AMAZING to me are the similarities, if not identical facts, that he finds in his search for “happiness”, that support all of the basic concepts of our conversation of “harmony”.
NOTE: This post is not about “Hey, see, I AM right!” This post is about the gap I feel. I don’t have the time, or maybe I just don’t make the time to give you the research, to prove to you that the concepts that fuel the concept of harmony are very real. And, I KNOW that the data will make these concepts more believable. Maybe I am trying to convince you. Maybe I am trying to convince myself – to unleash myself into a life of full harmony… into a mindset of harmony… without doubt or hesitation. Read on.
When I find someone like Shawn, and hear his data, I want to share it broadly – because it makes me DOUBLE DOWN on the concepts that I am learning….
DOUBLE DOWN on my commitment to embrace them in my life…
DOUBLE DOWN in my certainty that sharing these thoughts of harmony can absolutely make lives better, if embraced…
AND, thus I hope that you will listen with greater attention and commitment to that little voice inside your head that says,
“This HARMONY thing… it feels RIGHT and TRUE and POWERFUL!”
I know that I am finding truth, absolute truth.
I am finding truth, more and more truth, along my journey. And, as I go, I come across people like Shawn Achor who have been doing the quantitative homework that SCREAMS that the truth that I am finding in harmony is consistent with the very same truth that so many others are proving through their research… MINDSETS of harmony or whatever you choose to call “it”… MATTER.
He proves that scientifically;
that “happiness” is a choice,
that “happiness” spreads between human beings.
He proves that by changing your behavior and the way you THINK, you can wean yourself to lesser use of medication, or elimination of medication all together.
We can, as human beings, through our deliberate mind, through simple behavior, we can trump our genes, we can trump our environment… we can achieve peace and “happiness”.
I put the word “happiness” in quotes, because I truly feel like it can be replaced with the word “harmony” and it all makes the same sense.
I stayed away from the word happiness, because I think it triggers the wrong connotations in many minds. It seems like happiness “happens” to us, not like something we can deliberately choose. It feels momentary, in the wrong sense. It feels superficial… based on the normal connotations.
Shawn speaks to the difference between “irrational optimism” which most people connote with “happy”. Irrational optimism is “rose colored glasses”, it ignores reality, real data, and just expects things to go “right”. He speaks to “rational optimism.”
I like that… RATIONAL OPTIMISM… that is a new way that I can use to define myself.
“Happiness” & “Optimism” gives people the wrong idea. It connotes “irrational optimism.” which is OPTIMISM that neglects THE “IS”… neglects facts, data, probability, the real situation, the real risks of life.
TANGENT: “OPTIMIST”, has never felt like an accurate description of me because I don’t expect things to “go right”…
I know kids die young. I know parents who love their kids often screw things up. I know how “wrong” life can go. I know external factors play a significant role in our lives and our reality. And, I know that what happens in my life doesn’t define my “harmony”… it’s HOW I choose to embrace it and act on it that does.
I know that I can work through any reality and find contentment. I can work through any reality and find harmony and happiness. The reality, my life, will not always be exactly as I want it, there very well can be tragedy, disilussionment, heart ache, and JOY all happening, and sometimes at the same time. I accept the external factors that effect my life, and focus on embracing reality AND owning my actions.
RATIONAL OPTIMIST… I like that…
OK, BACK ON TRACK-
Shawn’s talk is called “The life-altering power of a positive mind.” And, it’s simply about OWNING the choice of our lives… owning the choice of our “happiness”.
He says, “if we sugar coat the present, we make bad decisions for the future. We don’t change the things we need to in this world. If we sugar coat the present we don’t stop discrimination, violence, inequality.”
HARMONY is starting every moment with defining the REAL “IS”… The absolute TRUTH… and the level to which we can understand it and embrace it, we can best ACT upon it.
“We need to have rational optimism. RATIONAL OPTIMISM STARTS WITH A REAL ASSESSMENT OF THE SITUATION, OF THE PRESENT.” IT STARTS WITH REALISM! We must be able to see both sides of the spectrum.
The truth, isn’t just OUR truth, or truth as we see it. It must be truth as it IS. Truth as we see it collectively. Truth as it IS without human bias.
And, Shawn continues that it is essential to embrace reality while maintaining the certainty throughout the entire process that our behavior matters. That our behavior can AFFECT THE MOMENT!
Shawn, in his research at the Harvard School of Divinity, studying Christianity and Buddhism, chooses to define HAPPINESS as…
“the JOY you feel moving toward your potential.”
LOVE THAT!
Happiness is not “pleasure”… we can find “happiness” even when we aren’t experiencing pleasure.
HARMONY is when you act on the absolute truth of a moment, the “IS”, and move it toward your want. (my observations…)
HAPPINESS is the joy of moving toward your full potential when you assess reality accurately in your present. (his conclusion from extensive research)…
HOW COOL IS THAT!!!
WE ARE VERY MUCH ON THE RIGHT TRACK!
If linked to the right people around us, if we are linked to people with the right approach we get the right kind of message.
We are bombarded with negative information.
I listen to the news very selectively. I stay away from most of it. I don’t pretend it doesn’t exist. Not at all. I just don’t need to know how many more murders there were in Chicago and Baltimore yesterday to execute on my life and purpose today.
The thinking in our society is that happiness is the exception. We allow ourselves to talk of happiness, but then the sentiment, per Mr. Achor is “then let’s get back to reality”.
We need to decrease the negative noise around us, and in our minds.
According to Shawn and research conducted with Huffington Post, 3 minutes per day of watching negative news affect you. 3 minutes per day makes your likelihood of having a self -reported “negative day” higher by almost a third.
“Happiness doesn’t stop us from change, it gives us a believe that change is actually possible.”
He proves through his research that “Happiness is contagious”… smiles beget smiles.
“Our BRAINS have mirror neurons, that feel “happiness” when you see “happiness”, even if you weren’t feeling happy.” It’s like yawns… It’s fascinating… It’s PROVEN…
“there are no wires between us… but we have been designed to wirelessly pick up on the people around us through our mirror neurons.” Shawn shares some studies during his talk about tests done at hospital on simple human behavior by the nurses and doctors that fundamentally change the experience for the patients.
Humans were the original WIRELESS DEVICES! We were the original social network.
Happiness begets happiness… stress begets stress… both based on the thoughts that are in your head, as well as the behavior that you see around you and the narrative that you hear.
When we go into the world, we pick up on the signals of the world.
You can’t just CHOOSE people who give you “happiness” and eliminate people that “don’t”. (Though you certainly should use discretion as to who you choose to hang around MORE, and who you choose to TAKE ENERGY from, and who you protect your energy from.”
HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE.
People choose not to experience happiness, because they are afraid of “stagnating”! They are afraid of standing still…
They choose stress in order to move them forward – and progress.
BUT, YOU CAN ACTUALLY DO BOTH!
If we define happiness as the moment when we achieve success, we never achieve it because every time we reach our “success criteria” we move the goal posts forward!
Happiness, success… cannot be lines in the sand… just like harmony cannot be.
They are a choice as to our approach. They are a choice to include grace and possibility into our moments.
This is INCREDIBLE and POWERFUL stuff.
Whether you journal, meditate, share… however you choose to connect with grace and possibility… you can alter your mind, and very much, you can alter your reality.
The science is THERE…
Happiness IS “the JOY you feel when you are moving toward your potential.”
HAPPINESS, SUCCESS, HARMONY…
The level to which we can achieve it, and achieve social connection – per his research “is as scientifically sound toward predicting our life expectancy, as smoking, obesity or high blood pressure”.
The more we achieve “happiness” (read “harmony” ;-)… NOT ONLY THE MORE JOYFUL WE LIVE, but THE LONGER WE LIVE.
“SOCIAL CONNECTEDNESS the breadth, depth and meaning of your social connection…
Is one of the GREATEST PREDICTORS OF LONG TERM HAPPINESS…”
Shawn sums it up…
“HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE.
HAPPINESS SPREADS.
And, IS AN INCREDIBLE ADVANTAGE IN OUR LIVES.”
“AND, SCIENCE PROVES CHANGE IS POSSIBLE!!!”
So, on this Monday,
CHOOSE
LOVE…
CHOOSE
HAPPINESS…
Or don’t…
Just know that how you choose to see the world, how you choose to live, how you choose to BE… AFFECTS EVERYONE AROUND YOU AS WELL…
Imagine, if we could all embrace this…
Imagine we could all embrace the possibility of connectedness, understanding, tolerance… together.
Take a deep breath…
It’s going to be a good day!
It’s going to be a good week!
It’s going to be a good life!
Science is on our side... choose harmony!
Nestor