I was talking with my son today.
He is dealing with some stuff.
I could tell he feels uncomfortable crying.
"It's ok to be sad." I said most sincerely.
I actually like feeling sad. Sadness to me feels so easy, so authentic, so alive.
It's happiness that I have to be deliberate with...
I have to work at being happy. I have to remind myself to be mindful to joy. I have to willfully relax my face, focus on my blessings, and acknowledge my amazing fortune in life to get a little taste of happy. And, I do... and, it's delicious.
But, happiness doesn't feel as authentic and certainly doesn't come as easy.
Sadness... I am good at sadness. I can very quickly relax into the sadness of life, into the brevity of our existence...
I can think about my sisters, about the day I left Peru...
I can think about how lonely I felt so often as a kid, how much I missed my family...
I can think about my father... that one is so very easy to draw tears.
I can think about my mother... how much I miss her...
About so many people suffering, so many friends in difficult situations, about so many inequities in the world... I can think about the divided state of our country and world...
SADNESS is so easy... so genuine... so accessible.
I don't pretend to know why, but I do know feeling it makes me feel connected to the world, it helps me feel and understand love, it helps me feel empathy... and, ultimately,
it helps me feel joy. Because for all of those sadnesses that are real... there is so much beauty and strength and hope in the world. I am living in great fortune in all ways thanks to my sisters being who they were and being sick which made us come to the States...
Happiness doesn't come easy, but it comes often... because it comes with harmony...
It's ok to be sad. As long as you work on SADness without disharmony.
You can be sad for the realities of life without wishing they were different.
It's sadness combined with "wishing" / disharmony that spirals into hopelessness... and that isn't worth a single moment.
But, sadness with acceptance.
Sadness with strength.
Sadness with gratitude.
Sadness is part of our "IS" and avoiding it defaults our sadness to WISHING. Because avoiding sadness is a form of disharmony. Avoiding sadness is "WISHING" sadness didn't exist. Avoiding sadness IS disharmony.
Not sure if you are still with me...
LIVE DELIBERATELY...
FEEL DELIBERATELY...
Both SADNESS and HAPPINESS... are part of our IS...
so, regardless of which comes easier.
EMBRACE & ACCEPT them BOTH... gratefully, honestly, DELIBERATELY!
in life...
in harmony,
Nestor