We become one of three things when we communicate -
A LIGHT
A MIRROR
or A BLACK HOLE...
We become light, when we share wisdom, ideas, suggestions, or stories that have the possibility of "lighting" people up... "lighting the way"... "light new paths that they didn't see before...".
When we use ourselves as LIGHT, in the right way... WE INSPIRE.
We become a mirror, when we reflect back onto others their light. When through what we say, we help others see themselves, their potential, their beauty, and in some cases their flaws. Everyone wants to be seen, and we value most to be seen by others... we consciously or subconsciously want them in some form to be our mirrors.
When we use ourselves as MIRRORS, in the right way... WE REFLECT.
We also can become black holes when we consciously or sub-consciously decide 'not to care'. When we become black holes, we most often don't even respond... our minds either reject what we hear or are distracted so far in another direction that we are absent from the conversation.
When we use ourselves as BLACK HOLES, in whatever way... WE IGNORE.
As I think about myself, I aspire to be the light and to reflect, and I often ignore the minutia, the detail, the things that I decide don't matter. I spend too much time trying to be the light, and I could do better by people by being more of a mirror. I need to be careful not to be so selfish on the things that don't matter to me, so as not to ignore and disrespect others who move those things that "don't matter" to me, forward.
When you ask good questions... it's like an assist for light. A good question forces someone else to seek their own light... It encourage people to do the work to SHINE. Questions are a sophisticated way to shine your light indirectly.
Above else, I believe we need more mirrors. And, I need to be more of a mirror. Ultimately, everyone is left to fend for themselves, to solve their own problems, to live off of their own initiative.
"Life is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration" I believe Benjamin Franklin said...
People need a lot less "LIGHT" than "REFLECTION"... When we are a mirror... when we help people see and believe in their abilities in their beauty... that gives them the confidence, the where-with-all to ACT or to KEEP AT IT...
So often, so many people jump from black hole to light and back. We are so focused on the wisdom we have to share, on the ideas we believe to be right, that we sit there ignoring the other person's contribution, words, thoughts and are simply waiting for the next opportunity to pounce and SHINE again...
That is an EGO driven communication pattern, and it serves only ourselves. Communication doesn't work without some amount of MIRROR in it...
Think of so much of today's political dialogue... black holes and lights, shining and ignoring, finding no CONNECTION, no RELEVANCE, and most often no VALUE in the exchange. In so many political dialogues, it's like too trains heading toward each other on the same track... the lights irrelevant to their motion... on a collision track - unwilling to move diferently.
Think of those insecure souls that you know... burning so bright but unable to see their reflection anywhere... they spend all of their energy shining, shining trying to light something up... anything. Then there are those that no matter how much you reflect back onto them... they don't believe it's their light...
The more insecure people are, the less they believe the light shining back on them could be theirs... they actually become BLACK HOLES to their own reflection, their own value... and their light they see reflecting from mirrors is ignored... "that's not me... everyone shines like that."
Then there are egomaniacs.. those that believe their light is brighter and better than everyone else's... They want and expect everyone to be a mirror.... they want to live in a hall of mirrors that only projects back perfect images of their perfect light... no amount of reflection is too much... the more the better. They tolerate black holes (as long as they are not too obvious)... they just don't want any other lights in the room to possibly distract or alter any of the mirrors pointing to them.
There are so many lights out there... everything is lit up in one form or another... And, many of the lights make no sense to us, shine in a direction that we have no desire to go, are irrelevant or misunderstood.
JUST being ONE more LIGHT is POINTLESS...
YOU need to become a RELEVANT light,
A LIGHT that SHINES in a way that enhances and adds value...
A LIGHT that FINDS a MIRROR...
Ultimately, that is the energy we ALL SEEK... from communication, from our fellow man...
A sense of connection is our deepest desire our most core need... because a sense of connection is what we use to know that we are SEEN... that we EXIST...
WE SHINE OUR LIGHT DESPERATELY SEEKING A MIRROR TO BE SEEN, TO SHINE IT BACK...
Love is light reflecting back onto itself and shining brighter as a result... in all directions...
Think about what YOU become in conversations...
Are you different with different people?
Are you different on different topics or situations?
What would it take for you to become more of a mirror?
How can you be less of a black hole?
How often do you shine bright?
Which would those who need you most say that you are?
A LIGHT...
A MIRROR...
or
A BLACK HOLE...
Reflect on it ;-)
in harmony,
Nestor
