There is a SINGLE, SIMPLE truth
that is the reason why I bounce
so frequently between
harmony
and
disharmony,..
I wrote about that perfectionist article a few weeks back,
and was stuck on where it says,
"perfectionism and the desire to improve yourself are not made of the same construct."
That thought kept playing over and over in my mind,
HERE IT IS...
The SOURCE of my disharmony...
The desire to improve yourself is defined by a passion for learning and a commitment to want to be a better version of yourself TOMORROW.
I have that...
It's what keeps me focused on harmony, on wisdom, on evolution...
It's what gives me hope and purpose...
But, if I look into my heart of hearts,
and am really honest -
there are so, so many moments where
I WISH I WAS ALREADY BETTER.
I wish I had possibly had a different upbringing.
I wish I had made better, smarter, bolder decisions at a young age...
I wish, I wish, I wish...
And, I KNOW that leads me nowhere good.
I KNOW wishing is the essence of disharmony.
And, I am doing better, MUCH better than just a few years ago at reducing the number of those moments.. staying more and more in the focus of improving for tomorrow.
I KNOW that I must replace the wish of already being better with gratitude...
with gratitude for my IS...
because the IS of my life is more than wonderful.
And, not just being grateful for the IS of my life,
but OWNING that had a large part in creating that IS.
I need to give myself credit and OWN my IS,
and then keep working toward my WANT.
That's harmony - period...
It's that subtle. That simple.
work for your WANT for a better you for tomorrow.
OWN and be grateful for the IS of your life today.
The shift of wishing you were already a better version of you today -
CHANGES EVERY emotion in your life - IN THOSE MOMENTS.
Harmony can be so subtle and yet so powerful.
As I round the corner on 50 years old - this is the ONE concept I want to internalize fully...
My IS is my everything... and being anything less than overwhelmingly grateful for it is simply arrogant or ignorant or selfish beyond measure.
My IS is absolutely AMAZING - and I had a big hand in creating it, and some great fortune, and I believe at times some divine intervention.
This is it folks... I just need to re-visit this conversation over and over until I believe in no other truth. This is the answer sheet. Now, I just have to keep going back to the problem and keep learning how to get to it ;-)
So often, it's not about KNOWING the answer... but being able to FIND YOUR WAY to the answer you know to be correct - as life hands you new and different moments.
Subtle, but
life altering...
in harmony,
Nestor