I was daydreaming at church today...
for the past few weeks, I have had this desire to have one more conversation with my father.
I talked to him the day he died.
I talked to him the day before.
They were quick exchanges.
I don't have regrets.
There isn't much that I left unsaid in the past year or two...
and yet, there is still a little "wishing" in my heart... wishing for one more chance to speak to him...
what would you say?
what would I say?
what would you want to say if you had one more chance?
for me... it's very much about wanting to say
"GRACIAS Padre"
I love that in Spanish, literally "thank you" translates to "GRACES"...
It does not specify YOU... It is just sending you the energy of GRACE in your general direction... it clearly IMPLIES "you"... and yet - it's general a general "grace".
GRACIAS Padre...
for needing me...
for being so happy every time I called...
for loving my mother so well in these last years...
for embracing my sisters from the first moment you saw them...
for your perseverance for the cause of the disabled...
for your honesty and your rationality...
for giving me your best...
for forgiving me...
for your pride...
for my life...
GRACIAS padre...
There will be no more conversations... not with him...
But, I will live more conscious of expressing gratitude...
And, not just expressing gratitude, but
living gratefully...
being gratefully...
GRACEfully...
I will make that the final lesson from Papapa... the final conversation that we never had...
If I had one chance... I would say it passionately, compellingly, deeply, completely, whole heartedly...
I would hold his head in my hands. I would kiss his bald spot. I would hold him tight... Tighter than he'd be comfortable with.
I would look him in the eyes... trying to make him feel my depth and sincerity...
GRACIAS Padre!
...GRACES,,,
for your part,
your unconditional love...
in my life, and
in harmony,
Nestor