Somedays I wonder...
Am I wasting my time?
Am I wasting yours?
I am working on a project with a dear friend and champion of HARMONY, and so I started putting all of my conversations into a document, so that we can review them and figure out where we may take this from here.
I am at over 500 pages from compiling the first 6 months, and I suspect there are likely more than 4,000 pages of Harmony conversations...
with a lot of double spacing of course ;-)
There are moments when I think about the time that I have spent writing them and simply ask myself the question... Is it worth it? How much of this is about my ego? How much of this stuff has been said before?
HERE IS WHERE I NET OUT on those thoughts...
- I write because I have to, because I love to, because I feel compelled to...
- If no one read what I write, I would probably still do it for myself, and in the hope that someday my sons or possibly someone else would find value in the thoughts, as I have.
- I don't know how many people the concept of HARMONY touches or helps, but I have heard enough affirmation of its positive impact on people's lives from people I love, or have grown to love through our exchanges about harmony. Even if its only a few people benefit from these thoughts, I feel so fortunate to have the time and means to share it.
- Selfishly, it has CHANGED my LIFE! I am in a completely different place with respect to my own harmony, my own peace, my own success and happiness than I was in January 2014 when I started writing... and I know that continuing to gain greater clarity on this concept, AND applying it more and more accross all that I think about and experience, has changed how I think, how I feel, and has allowed me to be more who I am.
- I LOVE the MEDIUM! I believe that powerful disciplines need to be PRACTICED. We read so many great books - and they plant seeds in our minds... So many great books quickly become distant memories. Life is too complex. There is too much going on. THE ONLY SEEDS THAT GROW ARE THE SEEDS THAT ARE WATERED... To me, thinking, writing and sharing these thoughts WATERS my seeds of harmony - and I see them grow and myself grow, despite my occasional doubt on the "return on time".
I wish I spent more time editing and formatting my conversations - but then there would be fewer of them... so I trade the wish for perfection for the want to share. (And, I often edit them after I see them come through on my email so at least they are better for posterity. If you get them in the mail, you get them hot off the keyboard."
I wish I knew more what you thought more regularly. I wish there was more exchange. And occasionally I hear back from you and you confirm for me that you are there and this is meaningful, and your gratitude and your passion for HARMONY is so very real, that it makes my heart and my IS smile ;-) I want to figure out how to create more exchange, and I am working toward that from this current IS.
I do hear from you on occasion and it is such a wonderful and wide range of people and personalities that seem to be drawn to the concept and experiences of HARMONY...
These conversations are me watering the seeds of my truths, my experiences, so that I can continue to grow... and you reading them is hopefully part of you watering yours.
I don't know where it leads in the long term... and I am ok with the many different directions this might take...
I love the idea that this is a "book that never ends"... and at the same time, I accept that at some point, it just might.
I am grateful for the IS of harmony, for you, for the effect it's had on my life, for the minutes per day it allows me to focus on things other than work or myself... And, I WANT to continue to explore it, share it, embrace it...
I truly feel it as part of my purpose in life, to explore and share harmony as best as I can, to make the lives of those I love and care about better for having had me in it...
It's NOT the "idea" of HARMONY that compels me, but the "experience" of HARMONY, the "benefits" of HARMONY, the REAL IMPACT of HARMONY that I ultimately want to share with those I love, work with and know...
It's the possibility of a HAPPIER and MORE JOYFUL LIFE that fuels me... and HARMONY is my way of influencing that...
I don't want to just share the THEORY...
I WANT to share the PRACTICE...
I WANT to create the DISCIPLINE in myself and in others - to embrace the moment... and the importance and opportunity of it.
With the logistics of the world for now... my heart writing it and your heart reading it, is the best that I can do. And, I am grateful that IS for now...
I don't know where it goes... and I don't need to...
It is part of who I am,
And, hopefully in some small or big way,
it is part of who you are as well...
HARMONY doesn't belong to me in any way...
I am a student in the class...
next to you...
sharing my notes ;-)
Nestor
P.S. And, if you WANT a copy of the document with the thousand or more posts - shoot me an email at benavidesnestor@gmail.com and I will send you the file once I compile it and clean it up.
If you enter absolutetruth.squarespace.com\search then you can search any words you want to see how they may have been discussed in the conversations...