I walked by a young man yesterday.
The sign in front of him said,
“I MIGHT AS WELL BE INVISIBLE!”
It made me pause, in my mind, if not in my stride.
He was looking down, legs crossed… I never even saw his eyes.
I had passed a man sleeping splayed out on the side-walk.
“Who am I to judge?”, I thought to myself…
Because I DO… One of the “types” of people, that I still judge,
Is homeless people – people begging on the streets.
“That guy looks young… why doesn’t he get a job?”
“Why doesn’t that person choose a different path?”
“I wonder if that person is making a killing begging?”
“why don’t they choose different????”
“I’m better than that!”, I think to myself (embarrassed now to admit it)…
I think that is at the heart of it. When we see homeless people or beggars, we can’t help but leverage that moment into a moment of patting ourselves on the back… acknowledging our good decisions, our hard work, our success…
But wait…
“Do I really think that those people are CHOOSING homelessness, poverty, to beg?”
I certainly think they are “choosing” to beg, the others are likely consequences of other choices.
But I have NO idea of what life this person has lived, what set of decisions have transpired by themselves and others to conclude them into this moment.
And, it doesn’t matter…
I think to the idea I posted on Facebook a few weeks ago, “Don’t JUDGE, LOVE!”
“Why do I judge?”, I think to myself? “Clearly, to make myself feel better about myself”… yup.
This morning walking early to the train station, I see people sleeping sitting up on shelves, against shopping carts, on the ground…
First, my mind goes to empathy. I remember myself just a night ago, exhausted, trying to find comfort sleeping sitting up in the airport and then on the plane. Physically awkward and uncomfortable, for me it was one night. It was my decision. It was the choice to live a maximum of the two days that bookended the night…
Imagine sleeping in that discomfort every night – OUTSIDE! And, having likely no reprieve.
“But, why don’t they go to a shelter?”… I think….
“Doesn’t matter!” I think to myself. It does matter to them, but it should now weigh in to me… to my compassion as a fellow human being.
Could that be my brother?
Could that be my father,
Or my friend?
Or my mom or my sister?
Could that be me?
I’d like to believe with certainty that “HELL NO!”, which is why I so quickly shift to judgement…
But, it could be…
It could be any of those…
There by the grace of God, or by the random probability of which genes I got, or which life I got…
I believe in the concept, “Don’t judge, love!”
It is the right truth to embrace.
So, I feel empathy, not pride.
I feel sadness, not selfishness.
And, perhaps I will still not stop to give them money, but at a minimum I will not pass on them my judgement.
This past weekend, in New Orleans, we talked at length with a guy in his 30s who moved down from Pittsburgh, and was now into “alcohol” and couldn’t get his life in control. I think it was probably “meth”. He had a job, painting buildings. He was an addict, and a nice man.
Perhaps I will not stop to give them money, but I should more often slow down to hear their story.
To SEE them… so that they are not “invisible”…
Perhaps I will not stop to give them money,
but I will from here forward,
choose to LOVE them…
Because they ARE my brother or my sister…
And, I don’t wish that life upon anyone…
And, I don’t need to think otherwise in order to feel better about myself…
Because that is not the human being that I WANT to be,
That is not the human being that I CHOOSE to be…
I WANT to SEE the "INVISIBLE",
WANT to choose gratitude, not pride...
Who am I to judge?
Choosing LOVE
every moment I get…
In harmony,
Nestor