William Byon first published,
"Human beings are pack animals."
He was the first, if not one of the first people to try group therapy and study human behaviors in groups.
He also wrote that,
"Independent thought is a myth."
The first time I heard this, I noted it, and disagreed.
I believe so very much in "individualism", in "free will", in "objectivism". Could I be wrong in that my thoughts are not mine....?
We had a great speaker in last week to talk to our executive team, and he spoke about effective and accountable teams, team dynamics, human behavior... It was based on Byron's work and it was powerful.
He argues that we are indeed "pack animals"...
We seek our own kind... not only in gender, or in color, but in values...
We need to belong to groups - as they define us, they give us purpose.
And, the groups that we have been a part of, last in us, long after we may be physically separated from them...
Our families...
our friends...
the places we've worked...
the teams we've belonged to...
they stay with us... they guide us and influence our decisions...
I generally buy that...
And the challenge and opportunity then becomes how do I help create a new pack with a shared purpose... that helps guide us as one?
Most of my life I say that I have felt as though I've lived in someone else's home.
Ive struggled with a feeling of belonging to a "pack" forever.
I've defined myself trying not to belong to a pack...
I didn't feel like I belonged in the Peruvian pack...
Nor the American one...
I didn't quite fit into the "soccer team" in high school, nor into my "fraternity" in college. I was an outlier when I joined "P&G" out of school. Felt like an outsider at the dot coms and at 180s and EMG.
I have always held out that I am neither Republican nor Democrat, but an independent.
I don't root for any one NFL team (maybe the Ravens and Redskins a little).
I don't generally root for college teams.
I have always struggled with religion and associating with a church. I've never really belonged to a social club.
What pack am I a part of?
What pack defines me?
Do you know?
I have always longed to belong.
I have always longed to belong with what I considered successful people... and I defined success loosely.
I have wanted to belong to the group of "entrepreneurs", despite not feeling like one based on my adversion to risk. I have wanted to create an entity and organization with intrinsic value.
I have wanted to belong to the group with "wealth" because I was convinced that would solve so many problems. Yet, I have seen no correlation between money and happiness.
I have wanted to belong to packs all of my life... and I have always struggled to fit in... or perhaps more appropriately to "feel" like I fit in...
And yet, I have longed to...
Perhaps I am part of a. Eclectic pack that I defined for myself...
the friends
the family members
the colleagues
the individuals
that were looking to serve in a pack for harmony...
As I grow older, I still struggle to belong to teams or "packs".
I so desperately want to have a unique and authentic story...
And something within me truly creates a visceral "push away" from assimilation...
I don't want to adopt any platform, root for any team, believe in any one thing in the absolute... because I see that as limiting my TRUTH...
And yet, I long to belong deeply and fully to something...
Are we truly all pack animals?
Or could some of us possibly be wired to roam free?
Are we a pack... in harmony?
Can you belong to a pack that you've never met?
I actually believe that is possible...
I do believe we all seek the assurance, the comfort, the confidence and belonging that being in a pack gives us...
And I also believe that we have different appetites for authenticity and uniqueness... and deliberateness...
I want a pack that pushes me, that celebrates me, that sees me, that is critical of me.... while always believing in me...
I want a pack to be proud of, to aspire to, to be part of...
I am likely a part of many packs that I fail to acknowledge...
I am a pack animal...
I buy into that...
I have a deep desire to belong,
and an even deeper desire for authenticity and a meaningful truth...
And, that sets a high bar
too often an unreachable bar...
Still searching...
for truth...
my truth...
in harmony,
Nestor