Happy Monday...
Today, I am cheating.
I am going to share with you a letter I wrote to a good friend, on the arrival of his daughter. When I re-read the note, I realized I had written a little too much about myself and not enough about him. But, in the process, had captured some thoughts on being a father that I thought might be worth sharing...
I thought those of you out there with children, might be able to relate.
My dear friend:
I am so very happy for you and your wife... so very happy. I have seen you evolve and grow in the last few years that I have known you. And, I am so very excited for this new stage in your life.
While I don’t “compare” myself to you, because I respect that you are on your own unique journey, I do smile occasionally at the similarities in our lives. And, I hope and suspect that the birth of your daughter (and I love the name you gave her) will have the same amazing affect on your life, that the birth of my sons had on mine.
For all of my life, until recently, I was chasing everything... and while having an outwardly confident personality, I struggled to find my footing. I struggled to find my sense of place. My boys grounded me in a way that no other relationship in my life ever did. Becoming a father, made me slowly a better man. It made me reflect differently on who I was and who I wanted to be for my sons. It gave me a much more meaningful reason to live with greater morals, with greater authenticity, with greater ambition. Learning all of a sudden didn’t just make me better, it had the potential to make them better too.
My boys ironically taught me more than I may ever teach them. They gave me roots. They made it such that I didn’t care where I belonged, because I understood viscerally that I belonged with them. They made things that mattered, not matter... And, their presence in my life made very clear what did...
Enjoy these first days of fatherhood. The love you feel will grow daily - and your heart will expand in a way you didn’t realize was possible.
It’s not about being a father... and ultimately, it’s not about your daughter.... it’s about love and the universe. I get that this may make no sense to you right now, but I suspect in time it will. Your daughter will teach you more about love and about yourself than you ever expected... And, she will help you love more and better...
Congratulations my friend. I know how much you have anticipated and wanted for this moment to arrive. You are wise beyond your years and you have so much to give. You see people... and you see children. I look forward to seeing fatherhood transform you ever so subtly or perhaps ever so overtly...
ENJOY the ride... all of it... Fatherhood will test you like nothing in your life ever has, and will give you more back than you ever expected... It’s a forever kind of thing...
Cheers and congratulations... Love you bud!
Fatherhood... Parenthood... It changes so very quickly. It marks the passage of time like possibly no other role we play. I have found great joy in it always... I love seeing my boys become men... I love reaching for a higher bar.
I hope fatherhood brings him the same joy.
in harmony,
Nestor