We all say that we want to learn…
That we want to grow…
And, I think rationally we all mean it.
There are two very meaningful barriers that we have to growing and learning – that act largely on our subconscious and massively impact our ability to expand our minds and evolve our being.
1. “Owning Truth” (The words “Owning Truth” came from the Coaching For the Human Soul Book.
Many of us seek truth, and in many, many regards, believe we have FOUND it. Once we KNOW the “right” answer, the answer that gives us CERTAINTY in our world, we CLOSE our minds. Essentially, we want to LEARN so that we can KNOW… and once we KNOW… we rest – despite our continued expressed desire to “keep learning”. Whether it’s politics, management, technology, philosophy… once we live with certainty that we KNOW – we can no longer learn. That is when we want to TEACH. But, things continue to evolve, and the moment you become a true teacher, you stop learning. That is why I feel so compelled NEVER to be teaching, always to be sharing what I am learning… That is an important, albeit subtle difference, that makes a world of difference.
Subconsciously, we LOVE certainty. Living a life where we are always admitting to ourselves our own limitations of our knowledge… Living a life where everything we THINK we KNOW can be challenged, questioned… and remains “uncertain” or “fluid” in some way can be a very difficult way to live. I believe few of us are comfortable in that world… and yet that is the only world where real learning is possible.
What “truths” do you own?
What assumptions about life do you hold as givens?
What are the areas where you are no longer able, or willing to evolve? To learn?
2. “Shedding Our Old Believes” The seed of this concept came from Dr. Shefali
Again, we speak to wanting to learn and grow, but how many of us are ready to SHED our OLD BELIEVES?
Clearly this is tied in some way to number 1 above, but really creates an “OUCH” in my own mind.
We want to EMBRACE NEW IDEAS, but we are, so very often, UNWILLING TO LEAVE BEHIND OLD IDEAS… So often, the “learning” we want is not “learning” but affirmation that we already know. We want to read things that confirm what we already believe – so that we can speak with greater volume and confidence. So that we can feel better about our level of KNOWING. I am not immune to these tendencies – and part of what makes me seem weak at times is that I truly question EVERYTHING.
I believe that virtually ALL that I know is partial or fractional of the absolute truth. And, there are some things I do ANCHOR on…
- “It’s about people, everything is…”
- “Harmony begets harmony”
- “With everything we say and do, we either give life or take life away.”
- “People want to be worthy and contribute.”
Those kinds of things… but virtually all beliefs and assumptions that I hold about life, business, philosophy… I am willing to question profoundly. It makes me often unable to fully own my own “success” and feel fully grateful for my life… as I am constantly question virtually all of my decisions and actions. But, I do believe that it keeps me in a growth mindset and state.
I believe that “knowing” works to provide harmony if we can keep “knowing” to be MOMENTARY.
There is a way to straddle learning and knowing, but it is very hard for most of us humans to walk that line. We can “know things in this moment – based on my experiences and observations thusfar in my life”… but where it gets hard is that if my WANT is true – to continue to learn and grow –
I MUST LEAVE THE POSSIBILITY THAT THE “IS” OF THE NEXT MOMENT WILL DISPROVE SOME OF THE THINGS I BELIEVE IN THE “IS” OF RIGHT NOW.
We must act based on what we know – and define our IS that way… and PART of our IS, is that our “IS” is ALWAYS INCOMPLETE and INFLUX… and is only valid and actionable IN THE MOMENT.
If I am losing you, I am sorry… it’s about truly living and being in the MOMENT… and ACCEPTING that is a limited existence, and we should do all that we can to make it a DELIBERATE one.
I’ve digressed.
Our minds have limited space on certain topics. Looking at a few extremes:
I cannot believe that “God doesn’t exist” and also accept that “I don’t know where the universe ends and that it is ever expanding.” The truth is, “I am working to learn and understand God and how the concept or the reality of God fits within our knowledge of the Universe.”
I cannot learn how to eat better and drop weight, if I am not willing to lose the believe that “this little donut won’t hurt me”.
I cannot appreciate or learn anything about the values that fuel those who support Trump, if I conclude that “Trump is evil and anyone associated with him is thus irrational”. (And, you can input Hilary’s name in for Trump.
Part of the issue with discourse and conversation about politics these days is that almost no one is willing to “SHED” what they believe in order to consider new ideas.
I use this example because it is real, emotionally charged and fairly extreme… but I think most people get it. There is divide right now where both sides are fairly unwilling to shed any “old” or “held” positions.
So, we all “want to learn”… but there are two really good reasons why most of us don’t… or at least evolve and learn very, very, very slowly. And, more often than not – the pace of learning slows as we get older… because we have more and more truths that we “OWN” and more and more “OLD things we know” that we are unwilling to unload.
What are the “Old assumptions” that you are unwilling to shed? That you are uncomfortable to let go of?
Think about it - in managing people who are struggling - how often are we truly willing to UNLEARN the things they have done that have caused us pause or distrust? it is everywhere... if we cannot move on from those - we will never truly trust them to perform... and they very well might be able to!
Sometimes – it’s not that we are “trying to hold on to them” as much as that we are just ignorant to the fact that UNLESS we shed the old, we cannot truly embrace the new. It’s less an unwillingness to shed and more an unawareness of the need to let go. That is the HUGE opportunity.
It may be less about having a desire to LEARN, and ultimately be more about having a willingness to UNLEARN.
So – think about how committed you TRULY are – to expanding your mind… and your being.
Learning keeps us young…
Learning keeps us free…
Learning keeps us fresh and relevant…
Learning keeps us evolving…
In harmony,
Nestor