Ok, so here I am again.
I know I promised to write about the language, but I feel the need to step back just a little and give all of this a little context.
I need to share that when I write the word “struggle”, it gives me an ill feeling.
On the one hand, I don’t like the word, the concept… in fact I hate it.
So, it causes me pause.
“Why does it make me a little ill?”
As I think about it, it’s because my ego jumps in and says to me, “You should be stronger than that… only weak people struggle”.
And yet, when I think about being labeled kindly by folks, “Mr. Positive”, “Mr. Culture” or “Mr. Gratitude” which has happened to me in the past, those feel so inaccurate to me. Maybe not “inaccurate” but certainly “incomplete”.
When I think about being known as “Mr. Struggle” – that one feels like a jacket I could wear. That one feels appropriate… it feels real.
The very important distinction I want to make is there is a difference between “struggling” to find your path, purpose, self, joy versus “being a victim” in your life. And, I think people sometimes relate very quickly, in fact sometimes immediately, people who speak of “struggle” with people who live as “victims”.
To me – they are as different as light and dark…
Webster defines the “verb” of struggle as;
1: to make strenuous or violent efforts in the face of difficulties or opposition
2: to proceed with difficulty or with great effort
And, again I notice a little ill feeling…
I don’t want to make life more “difficult” than it is. I like that struggle can be a verb. Another dictionary calls it “forceful effort to get free of restraint”.
I stand tall at the thought of being, Mr. Struggle…
Because it’s honest.
Because it’s every man.
Because it’s ACTION not result.
Mr. Positive defines more the destination of many of my moments, not the journey of most.
Mr. Struggle is where I live… it’s who I am.
NOT a victim, in any way. Being a victim is one of many ways to engage with “struggle”… It’s not the way I choose often, and deliberately, never.
Being a victim, to me in this context, is the same as laying blame… pointless, powerless, wasteful.
NOT IT!
Why do I love this topic… ?
Because I want to be better, and I want to help make others better, and some version of struggle is how we get there.
I don’t want to just be iteratively better… I want to be discontinuously better… because I know I have the power and the blessings to be… to feel… to contribute in amazing ways…
And, every moment that I don’t… it bothers me.
And, it pisses me off that I AM my greatest opposing force.
Dealing with struggle is, in largest part, dealing with our own internal voice of “not enough”…
I believe in growth.
I want to grow FORCEFULLY & deliberately.
And, the headwind, the opposition, the “difficulty” is me… my own willingness or lack thereof to make the changes I need to make in my behavior, in my choices, in my life to get to the next version of me…
The first of the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism is
Dhukka – the fundamental pain and suffering of our mundane life.
Suffering or Struggle is life…
When do we stop “struggling”?
I would argue we stop struggling, when we give up. And, I suck at giving up.
But, I see giving up in two ways…
Giving Up meaning no longer attempting to reach the next level and version of ourselves.
Or
Giving Up meaning truly and deeply giving up on our own ego… refusing to listen to the voice that stands in our way… some call it “enlightenment”.
Who do you know that achieves without struggle?
The few examples I have seen are people who are pursuing a higher calling. People who have devoted themselves to a higher cause. People who truly navigate in the interest of others, and in gratitude.
Maybe they are unicorns 😉 But, they exist.
And, it’s a version of myself that I aspire to… and while it feels closer than it has when I was younger, it still feels far away.
So, I am no unicorn.
I am every man. Or, at least most men.
Admitting to struggle scares me a tiny bit, but emboldens me…
Not only because it feels so real,
But also because it feels so relevant, so necessary, so powerful!
Struggling means never giving up…
Against the force of our own ego, of the voices in our head…
And forcefully toward our dreams…
Struggle means desire… it means passion… it means WANT…
Victims fail to acknowledge their own power.
It is my own awareness of my own power and potential to do good that fuels my struggle.
It is the hope, the possibility, the eventuality of breaking through the opposition of myself, by dominating and reducing my own ego
That fuels my struggle.
And, it is my awareness of struggle that makes me inpatient and angry at times…
But it is also my awareness of struggle that makes me ever patient, present, caring, compassionate, generous, relatable, loving and true…
Struggle can be experienced with powerlessness & victimization… but that is struggle in WISH form…
By definition it means “forceful effort to get free from restraint”…
Struggle means
hope
fight
power…
struggle is forceful WANT,
struggle is never giving up…
And, to talk about it… connects us and amplifies our strength
In harmony,
Nestor
P.S. I will get to the language of struggle… I promise. Thanks for staying in the conversation.