I know it sounds silly, but it’s a bit of a revelation for me...
I can have it ALL!
I just can’t have it all, all of the time!
Life has been amazing to me... I’ve been blessed and fortunate. So many of my dreams have come true...
And yet, too often I find myself in the disharmony of “wishing”... As I break down my dissatisfaction, I realize...
I want it all...
All the time!
And that is just NUTS!
I can’t relax and take quality time for myself, meditate and workout, and write, and spend time with my wife and my boys, and work a meaningful purpose at work, and be there for my team mates, and join boot camp, and write a book, and get in front of clients, and rethink and restrategize our business and get plenty of sleep...
oh and play golf and have a boat and go to the beach...
oh and be zen like and simple and spiritual... and get a place on the beach but only have one home... and focus on wrath creation... and purpose... and altruism...
oh and take risks but live risk free...
and explore harmony, my life’s calling, and live in a big city, and by the ocean, and near the boys and friends...
EVERYDAY!!!
I know this sounds ridiculous...
And that’s likely because it is!
And, I think my mind actually has worked that way...
It ties back to that conversation I had after my Hoffmab experience in November where I realized that “my desire for constantly better kept me from making my amazing life the best it could be...”
I am ambitious... but in a naive way.
I want a perfect life... but perfect can’t mean having it all all the time!
I DO have it all... I truly do...
And, I can do better... slowly, steadily, deliberately...
But wanting it all, all the time... robs me of amazing days, experiences and moments...
Accepting that you can’t have it all, all the time... IS life... accepting that IS... is fundamental.
I need to choose which of those amazing aspects of my life I want to access each day...
I think the desire to have it all, all of the time comes from a lack of presence and gratitude for my blessings as I experience them... and it pains me to admit that...
I am so very grateful for my life, but too often in arrears, in retrospect, in reflection...
I must become grateful for my life... as I live it! In every moment! That will make me more aware of my choices... more deliberate in my choices and more respectful of what is truly possible in any given day!
When you have it all, but you want it all everyday... you live dissatisfied with a plentiful and blessed life.
I need to be more careful with my days...
more deliberate in my choices,
more present in my moments and in my blessings...
And embrace my own imperfections and shortcomings...
my own ambition and naïveté.
I need to keep growing up,...
everyday ;-)
I already have it all...
in harmony,
Nestor