The toughest element of this concept of harmony is accepting the reality, that absolute truth, that while we are masters and the ultimate owners of our own journey, we cannot define the journey for others.
Giving those we love, those we care about, those we work with, the support, the respect, the confidence and possibly. most importantly, the space to define their own truth, their own passion and their own journey.
That is so crazy tough for us.
Because our nature to care about people, to care about ourselves, to care about their outcome fights like hell for control of their journey in ways that we don't see or comprehend.
We must be deliberate about the concept of mutual respect.
To me - mutual respect is simple. It is simply to give everyone the same opportunity to find their truth as you desire for yourself.
I see it in husbands that want to define the future for their wives. And, I see those relationships struggle.
I see it in managers that want to define the future for their employees,. And, this is a really tricky one.
I see it in parents, that want so desperately to protect their kids from the hardships of life. And, this is dangerous.
I see it in myself, in my desire to help people find harmony. And, its wasted energy.
You see - we believe what we believe more because we have lived what we have lived than because we have been great students in class.
The irony in this is that if we want to help our wives define the future, if we want to help our employees define success, if we want our children to find happiness, if we want people to live in harmony...
They need to choose it for themselves. And, to choose it for themselves they need to fail to the level that they need to fail. They need to know the alternatives to the level of their curiosity. They need to know the options to the level of their ambition. So that they can make the things they believe come to life.
My passion for harmony is motivated, driven and defined MOST powerfully by the massive disharmony I have felt in my own heart, and the painful disharmony that I have witnessed in many that I have loved.
The books I read now - they help define the future as I would like to create it - but that vision and that passion is only possible because I know the pain of disharmony.
SO, the toughest element of harmony...
Is to allow those we love to have the space to find their own truth and pursue it in their own way...
We can give them counsel. We can influence it. But the best thing that we can do is love them - and make them certain of that fact as they make their way along their journey. And, love them enough to let them fail. And, hope like hell that they will find their way.
Trust me... It's the toughest part.