I was driving in this morning, it was cold but the sky was magnificent… bright and clear and full of stars.
I was struggling with moments of disharmony.
Wishing upon things that weren’t stars.
My work is demanding absolutely all of me, and when I feel like no amount of time is enough, you wish for different. I need to make decisions that the team is not ready for me to make, but I need to make them soon.
My family needs more of my time, and I am not present enough, and often distracted when I am home.
I didn’t work out Sunday, or Monday and today will be unlikely.
I can feel the disharmony start to mount.
And, I will difuse it.
A little Pink Floyd on the ride in and a warm Starbucks and some quiet time to think, and I feel a little better already.
When I am interviewing someone at 10:30 p.m. last night, and setting an alarm for 3:30 am for the second morning in a row, I know that giving more time is not the answer.
I need to work smarter.
I need to make better decisions.
I need to draw some boundaries.
And, I need to be more patient for some of what I am wanting for… because I am clearly wanting for too many things at once.
Time is the ultimate manager.
I feel better already.
I can do better.
I will do better.
Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and how I LOVE Thanksgiving. I am so very grateful. And, I want to have more fun and make sure that I am enjoying the ride.
I typically do, and the moment I don’t, I mentally regroup.
Self imposed Harmony intervention session ;-)
It’s ok to struggle, it’s a sign of wrong interpretation, inadequate decision making, and wrong direction.
Don’t fold into the struggle…
Don’t disappear into the noise and into stress.
Regroup your mind.
Revisit your decisions.
Reaffirm your control over the things you control…
And, know with certainty that harmony is a moment away.
I long for a peaceful night … a night free of “the next thing I need to do” for work, or for the family, or even for myself.
I realize that place only exists in my mind.
In a life committed to being better than I am today, there will always be one more thing to do.
I long for the discipline, the maturity and the wisdom to make the decisions that I need to make better and faster… and to draw those boundaries that allow me to close the shades on the day and the noise, and focus on moments of joy.
The moments of joy are there… I am just not drawing the shades.
And, I will.
Because I know the difference.
And, because, I ain’t wishin’ upon stars. I’m wantin’ upon harmony.
Always seeking truth,
Nestor