Here I was, ready to move on from "Navigating Issues" and I saw this video today. The title seemed timely. I started watching it, and was not impressed for a minute or two, and then she had me.
This is one of the most powerful videos that I have ever seen. And, I have seen my share.
I know most people will just skip over it, but most people skip over my blog.
YOU DIDN'T...
You are curious about harmony - then I urge you to watch this video, because it speaks to why it's so hard for us to "see the truth" in a clearer way than I have ever heard before.
If you cannot see the picture below, cut and paste this link into your browser:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QleRgTBMX88
This video doesn't need any further explanation.
I can't help but wonder what gives us the ability to know when we are wrong? What sets our filter? What sets our own internal volume to our desire to be right?
I don't know for sure.
I do believe it has to do with our experiences - with our level of insecurity and confidence.
We are programmed by our experience... by the micro lessons we learned as kids, then teenagers, then young adults, then adults..
I really do believe my volume was very low for a long time. I could see the truth or at least I could feel when the truth seemed far or when it seemed close.
I don;t know that I knew exactly what it was, but I knew when it wasn't.
I think its because my memories of being a child, everything about me felt wrong.
ALL THE TIME.
I was the wrong culture.
I was the wrong weight.
According to my father (back then) nothing I did was ever right.
My mother loved me, I knew that. But, she made me feel like I was choosing virtually all the wrong paths. Or at least paths that made her angry, or sad, or hurt.
I didn't know what I was supposed to know.
It wasn't that I did poorly in some classes, in junior high, or high school or college... It was that I was sometimes completely lost.
There were glimpses of "being right"...
I seemed to pick great people to befriend.
I seemed to do well in math. The only class that really made sense to me until graduate school.
I spent decades feeling "wrong" and being "wrong" and I learned that it never stopped me. I was wrong for a long time.
I need to be careful now, because life is going well.
And, I am starting to feel right. And, I realize now that right or wrong happens in moments. And, I realize I knew so little and did a terrible job asking for help. i wanted to solve everything on my own. A behavior that has served me well over time but has kept me sometimes far away from those I love most.
I have sorted out alot of things.
I am learning everyday. Learning where I am wrong, and where I could be more right.
I will listen to this video again.
It is ironic.
In order to continue to find what is right, we must embrace the possibility of being wrong every step of the way.
The year is wrapping up. Take a deep breath. Watch this video. And, keep searching.
Yours in harmony,
Nestor