Is your life in harmony?
It probably is AND isn’t… it probably varies by moment and by which layer of your life I am talking about.
We all seek harmony in our lives. WE DO – that is a GIVEN!
We seek it from our deepest core…
We have a few amazing people at work, whom I know, have had troubled pasts. There are severed relationships with parents, past bouts with drugs or alcohol, ugly relationships with spouses…. Some deep level of disharmony, that causes these folks to become exceptionally engaged employees at work. I can tell that they relate to work with great personal connection. They have found harmony in our company, and they are drawn to it, and excel at what they do and how they do it.
I have always felt that some level of insecurity makes wonderfully engaged employees. Too much insecurity makes dysfunctional employees.
Then there are others. There are folks who have wonderful, harmonious relationships at home, and work is a job.
We seek harmony in our lives, and sometimes we borrow it from one level at the expense of another.
HARMONY
FIRST “SELF” LAYER - At the core – at the very nucleus of harmony – is the “IS” of SELF. It is ultimately the most important of all harmony. Harmony of the self comes from the ability to be grateful for who you are, and the passion to become what you dream of becoming. The “self layer” has a layer of intellectual harmony, the pursuit of our intellectual ambitions, and it has a physical layer as well. (The mind and body as best friends thing… ;-)
SECOND “FAMILIAR” LAYER – Beyond the self – is the nucleus of family. And, there are different levels of granularity. Our relationship with our children is paramount. Our relationship with our spouse is also paramount, and often neglected or discounted because of all of the energy we give our children. Then there is the harmony of our family as a unit. And, the extended harmony (or disharmony) of our relationship with siblings and parents.
THIRD “PROFESSIONAL / WORK” LAYER – Beyond the intimate family, is the reality of our situation at work. The place where we spend so many hours of our lives. The place where so much of our stress or our passion comes from.
FOURTH “FRIENDSHIP” LAYER – For some – the closeness of friends may come hand in had at the family layer. For others, friends remain on a very different plane.
FIFTH “ALTRUISM” LAYER – The harmony we feel from our contribution to our community, from our involvement with the lives of others. I like to look for this layer within the boundary of work. Altruism to me is a concept that belongs as generosity for everyone we come in contact with – as we all need something from each other. We need to be acknowledged. We need to be respected. We need to be connected.
SIXTH “SPIRITUAL” LAYER – This one has great range. I am spiritual, much more in the philosophical way than in the religious way. But, regardless of how you interpret spirituality, it is a layer of harmony that exists.
So, all of these layers of harmony OR disharmony exist, and they exist concurrently in most moments.
The reality of our absolute mindset is impacted by how we feel about each and every one of these.
To achieve true happiness and true success, we must bring all of these different layers into harmony. It is certainly possible to experience harmony in many moments in a single layer… the moment you share with your son, before you engage in arguments with your husband, the moment you spend enjoying your family, before you feel the stress of work, the moment you feel great about your promotion, before you look in the mirror and feel bad about your physique…
HARMONY happens in moments.
And, for harmony to happen in more and more moments over more and more time, we need to be achieving harmony in more and more of our layers.
I am NOT a perfectionist. Ask my wife ;-)
EXCEPT when it comes to harmony. I want to feel it at every level. I want it to be authentic and pure at every level. It’s an unrealistic expectation. It is an unachievable expectation. But, every little step forward in the right direction delivers exponential happiness and satisfaction.
I am a perfectionist with HARMONY, because I absolutely believe that perfection is almost possible.
And, because I know that disharmony at any layer, can disrupt every other level if you allow it to.
If you feel disharmony, work hard to categorize it.
And, then work hard to alter it – to redefine it – to reposition it – into a harmonic state.
I never said it was easy.
Looking back on my life – I can see the layers of disharmony and the layers of harmony passing by each other.
I am grateful because it was the layers of harmony that got me through the layers of disharmony. It was the layers of harmony that never let me quit. It was the moments of harmony, even before I called it harmony.
It’s the love of friends that helps us through hard times.
It’s our own willpower that pushes us through the final miles.
It’s the love of our spouse that gets us through moments of self doubt.
It’s the hope for our children that get us through our own regrets.
It’s the satisfaction of our work that sometimes help us recover from illnesses.
It’s the possibility of changing other people’s lives for the better that allow us to embrace the impossibility of our own dreams.
It’s the opportunity to be better tomorrow than we were today that propels us through the tears of yesterday…
Don’t expect harmony to be simple. But, also don’t allow it to be complex.
It’s like walking across a river, jumping from rock to rock, trying not to be swept away…
And, over time we leap from rock to rock, almost with a glide, and it becomes sport instead of survival, and then it becomes a form of dance and art instead of sport and competition.
There is a progression to harmony… and it requires success at multiple layers.
And, in order to achieve it, we must understand and embrace each and every layer.
Yours in the pursuit of harmony, at each and every layer…
Nestor