I gave up today…
I was dreading the run, despite the fact that I love my buddy Jamie. It makes me happy to be with him. He is always supportive, humble and happy.
We started our run at 6:30 am. It was less than 30 degrees F.
My legs hurt even before we started. Maybe they were tired from my squats yesterday. Maybe they were tired from my lack of sleep over the past week. Maybe they weren’t that tired, but my mind was full, and I just didn’t want to run.
We decided to run 15 miles.
He is training for a marathon.
I am always trying to keep up. Even though I have no desire at this time to run a marathon.
I felt great the first 7 miles. The air was brisk. The sun was rising. The conversation was fun. My body was enjoying the outdoors. I even felt strong.
Then mile 8 came… and I knew I didn’t have 7 miles left in me.
The talking came to a complete halt.
My legs kept moving, and I couldn’t wait to get home.
I didn’t know how many miles where left… I figure we were about mile 11 and my legs just stopped. It felt so good to walk. I don’t often quit. But I had no desire to keep running. Jamie kept trucking. I walked maybe half a mile. I was dreading how long it was going to take me to get home at this pace. Jamie doubled back and I told him to just go home and get the car to pick me up.
I was so done. I was so tired. I hate giving up. I don’t do it often.
I had NOTHING left in my legs.
But, I was not home… and still had to figure out some way to get there.
As I realized that there was no “easy way home”… I started a slow trot.
A few minutes later I saw the road home, and started to run again.
I ran strong the last 3 miles.
I kept focusing on my mindset… on one step at a time.
As I was rounding the last road home, Jaime and I running hard neck and neck, I thought to myself…
There are moments in life when we just can’t keep going at the same pace, despite our very best efforts.
There is a big difference between slowing down and giving up.
I slowed down… down to a walk.
It was not what I had expected to do, it was not what I wanted to do…. But it was the best that I could do.
The weight of my legs wasn’t just the momentary pain of running, it was the weight of the final 4 miles home. It was just too much to consider.
I was trying to focus on the moment… trying to just jump start into a run.
But, the lesson was clear.
Slowing down is not giving up.
Continuing to move in the direction is progress.
Anchoring in whatever strength you can muster…. And moving forward…. Is what life is all about.
Sometimes the only progress we are making may be in our thoughts… but that is still going forward, that is still making progress.
At the end of the run, exhausted and content, we were spent… we were happy.
HARMONY allows us to go as fast as we can possibly go in the direction of our want… sometimes it’s a fast run…. sometimes it’s a slow jog…. Sometimes it’s a walk… and sometimes its just the strength not to give up in your mind…
But, it all works, its all necessary, and its all positive.
I DIDN'T give up today... I just slowed down!
Keep running…
Keep reaching…
Never quit!
Yours in pursuit…
Nestor