WARNING: Slightly longer than usual...
I did something two days ago, that I haven’t done in a long time…
I got into a very long and intimate conversation on the plane with a complete stranger.
I am always curious about people, and sometimes, you meet a complete stranger and you share your life story. It gives you a fresh and insightful perspective into how we live…
Let me call this woman, “Sparkle” and let me share with you what I learned…
The more we talked, the more I asked, the more I learned about her life.
She was traveling for business. She is in sales. She has been in the “home finishes” industry for over 20 years. She is 40 years old. She doesn’t like the “home finishes” industry, but she started in it after high school and never left. Now, she has a tough time switching industries if she wants to make the compensation she makes.
She works for a company that she hates. The owner / CEO is a control freak. Her clients ask for things, but the leadership of the company doesn’t believe that clients have the company’s best interest in mind. One tie, Sparkles created an inventory list that she needed to know if the clients samples were up to date. The marketing group forbade her to use it because “clients will want all of our samples if we give them a complete list”.
Sparkles works for one of those companies where there is a lot of pressure to grow. Every division is after its own interests. Marketing knows better than sales. Sales knows better than marketing. Operations doesn’t order materials because they don’t want to be overstocked. Approximately 95% of their orders have client complaints. Often the dealers sell the company’s goods and collect down payments, place a purchase order, only to find that the material has been discontinued years ago, or there is non in stock.
Her husband is on his third marriage. She is on her second. They are “happy” together. She could not tell me a single thing they enjoyed together... or did together.
They make nearly $400,000 a year between the two of them, but they “don’t have any money”.
She doesn’t have kids. He did. She has pets.
She pays up to $125 per day to have someone take care of her pets when she travels…
The more Sparkles talked, the worse I felt.
I wonder how many people in the United States live like this? I thought to myself.
She had been abroad once with her husband, and he had gotten sick and had to be hospitalized. She swore never again to leave the U.S.
She travels every week. The only thing that made her eyes “sparkle” was the conversation about her pets…
She looked good… she was inspired in her make up and dress, she was heavy set, didn’t have time to exercise because of her schedule.
Why am I telling you this?
I am trying not passing any judgement... I am trying to observe...
Sparkles was smart, confident, and very capable. She had great ideas, and I could see that deep down inside she still had dreams of a really happy life… She was so busy getting through every week, that she had no time to think, she had no time to enjoy, she had no time to live…
She was consumed by Candy Crush.
She spoke as if she was in such complete control of her life, and yet she was so not.
I thought as we were getting ready to land… this is what a life without “harmony” looks like…
It is random in its ability to find success.
It is random in its ability to find happiness.
It is rudderless & purposeless.
I don’t mean that in a mean way… but her purpose was survival… just “getting through the week and into the next week”… She had given up in her ability to learn. She had no loyalty nor love for her company. She felt distanced from her husband and alone. Her closest relationship other than her pets was with her pet sitter.
She had created such a limiting story about herself, that all she could do was live inside of it.
In a life with no harmony, there is no awareness of the moment…
In a life with no harmony, you have no criteria with which to set expectations for your employer, you have no ability to facilitate conversations, you have a really tough time creating a direction that others will follow,
In a life with no harmony, learning is optional.
In a life with no harmony, wishing is the expansion method of choice.
In a life with no harmony, keeping up with the Joneses is a mission in itself.
In a life with no harmony, you are all alone…
Living a life without the concepts of harmony is like living a life where you do not have the skill of speaking or writing.
Living a life without the concepts of harmony Is like living a life driving a car without a steering column….
In a company with no harmony there is no passion for the absolute truth, no concern for each other, no collective desire to improve.
Sparkles accepted all of this as “the way things were”.
I thought to myself, here I am overwhelmed by the concept of harmony and here is this woman overwhelmed by the absence of harmony as a concept.
I felt like I saw and understood the power of harmony by seeing a life unaware of it.
Ignorance of harmony is not bliss.
We are capable of so much more by leveraging the absolute truth…
Sparkles’ words to me where the following, “I don’t care about money. I just want to work for a company where I am a part of something, where we are working together trying to accomplish something.” And yet she told me, “I cant afford to leave my job because we need every cent I make.”
Sparkles had great ideas that no one was interested in… not even her.
Life is too short, I kept thinking…
There are so many choices, I kept thinking… and yet Sparkles didn’t see any of them…
If I could see any life in America, how many would be like Sparkles?
How many are sprinting without a finish line?
How many are unaware of the absolute truth?
How many are consumed by the energy of existing without the pleasure of living?
I saw through her words the company she worked for and the distrust, disloyalty and disregard that she had for it. And, I was so aware of the different reality that we have created at EMG. I thought about the countless employees that acknowledge it… and I was proud and I was grateful.
I saw through her words the loneliness in her life, and the helplessness that she had toward changing it. And, I was so aware of the different reality that I have at home. I thought about the love and hope that I feel in my own home… and I was proud and I was grateful.
I saw through her words the lack of control she had in her approach, and the randomness and fuzziness with which she saw success and happiness. And, I was so aware of the different reality that I am living. I thought about how clear my understanding is of my approach and my challenges and my hurdles… and I was proud and I was grateful.
It is not that I am smarter than Sparkles. I just have exposure to this tool, this concept, this concept… that she does not.
It made me want to wake up everyday and help everyone understand the concept of harmony, so that we could leverage it in the direction of our dreams, so that we could own it and embrace our own power, so that we could live it and enjoy a real happiness….
The advantages of a life embracing the concepts of harmony are unparalleled…
I don't know Sparkle's real name... I tried to suggest a few new ways to seeing things, but I didn't see an opening to push... the concepts I was trying to suggest were foreign.
Few people call it harmony…
Few people call it absolute truth…
Few people speak to the energy of moving every moment in the direction of our dreams….
You can’t see it, you can’t hear it, you can’t touch it…
But Harmony exists, and in every moment you can create it…
It is the single most powerful concept that I have ever known…
And, "Sparkles" reminded me why and showed me what a world without it could look like… were moments of success and happiness happened at random… and largely infrequently.
I wish her the best… I so very sincerely do…
But, I know better, and wishing has nothing to do with it…
Yours in harmony,
Nestor