So often in the past several years, I have heard talks and read articles about the insight of “FIGHT or FLIGHT”.
They all say something like this, “Now that we have FMRI, we are better able to understand our brains, and we know that our behavior is driven first by our reptilian brain.”
Yeah… SO?
“And, our reptilian brain interprets a situation immediately as FIGHT or FLIGHT. It comes from the days when we were facing saber tooth tigers and our primal sense had to figure stuff out quickly. Now we still have that same brain so our primal instinct remains FIGHT or FLIGHT and we need to consider that in what we do in business!”
Sorry… but I am struggling with that…
FIGHT (conflict) or FLIGHT (run away)…
NO! I don’t see it.
A friend of mine found an article, that I need to be able to source that suggests that the brain also suggests that there is a third option that our brain considers.
Think about it – is your initial instinct to FIGHT or RUN AWAY? I don’t think so.
I am convinced that all of these well-intentioned leaders, speakers and researchers are adding disharmony and drama into our brains and into our offices and teams.
Is your instinct to FIGHT OR FLIGHT?
That is NOT what I see.
I see human behavior first make a selection subconsciously and instinctively –
EMBRACE OR REJECT
Now, I am sure there are prettier and catchier words – but I am not interested (at least not now) in a catchy phrase. I am interested in the reality of our behavior.
When we first meet someone, when we first step into a situation, even before we think fight or flight, I am convinced that we think – EMBRACE or REJECT.
When you meet a baby (assume not crying and with clean diapers) – do you think FIGHT or FLIGHT?
When you hear about an employee or a friend having issues – do you think FIGHT or FLIGHT?
When you meet with a vendor, or an interviewee – do you think FIGHT or FLIGHT?
When your manager is introducing you to a new project – do you think FIGHT or FLIGHT?
I don’t think so.
The behavior I see – is EMBRACE or REJECT. Something along the lines of EMPATHY or APATHY.
I am CONVINCED that the initial selection between those two things is driven by whether the NEW situation / individual is introduced with harmony or disharmony.
Harmony leads to embrace and empathy.
Disharmony leads to reject and apathy.
It really is that simple. I believe that the choice of disharmony – then leads to FIGHT or FLIGHT… Do you engage in fight defensively against the oppressor or do you run away and become quiet, no longer participating in the meeting? Or, do you run away, and go into your room and no longer listen to your mother?
It bothers me when someone comes up with a fact like our “reptilian brain” and then feels like they can draw a crowd by associating with today’s environment, without fully thinking about the reality that we see, and the emotions that we feel.
Yes – FIGHT of FLIGHT is relevant and scientific. But, SO IS HARMONY.
And, unlike the talks and the articles, the first thing we (or the people we are meeting with and working with and living with) is NOT to conflict or to retreat… the first emotion they encounter is embrace or reject.
Think about this as you are introducing ANYTHING to ANYONE.
Think about this as you are creating a plan, developing a mission, setting a goal.
I will do more research, and I will show you the science. Our brains are ultimately in charge. I believe that. And, the better that we understand them, the better we will understand ourselves. But, use your ability to think and to feel to challenge what you hear and everything presented as such certain fact.
NO, in business and in life, we don’t show up ready to fight or flee.
We show up – ready to agree or disagree – ready to empathize or reject – ready to internationalize or externalize – ready to TRUST or DISTRUST….
FIRST… and then IF we distrust… then we go to FIGHT or FLIGHT.
Look inside yourself and tell me which you feel?
Leverage what we know and what we feel… leverage the power of harmony – and the initial moment and opportunity of ENGAGEMENT, EMPATHY and TRUST…
Don’t believe everything you read… believe everything you FEEL!
There is so much to consider and to write and to think about with respect to this... but for now let's leave it at this... don't fall into the trap of "FIGHT or FLIGHT", or into the hype of our reptilian brains... Challenge everything for the absolute truth and the possibility of harmony.
Yours in the pursuit and
In the spirit of harmony,
Nestor