it SUCKS the life out of you…
it SUCKS the moment out of you…
it just SUCKS all around.
In the last week, I have caught myself wishing on three different occasions…
PICKED THE WRONG PLAYER
First, I was selecting my son’s soccer team for next year after tryout. I was a little nervous because it is our first year on the “BIG” field, and sad because I couldn’t bring my whole team from last year with me. Anyway, I ended up selecting this amazing goalie, and when I called him, I realized that I had misheard the player number at tryouts and had selected the wrong kid.
I WISHED so deeply that I hadn’t made that mistake. That mistake, I felt, cost me a high ranking pick. That mistake, I felt, caused me maybe the ability to pick one of my players from last year. I could stop WISHING that I hadn’t made that mistake.
MISSING CLASS
Second, I had the opportunity of taking a great class on “Theory of Constraint” thinking. Using the Cloud to resolve conflict. One of the world experts on the topic was in the US. It was a unique opportunity to learn from one of the best in the world. It is a complex thought process to ultimately set strategy. I had so much going on at work, that on Friday, the second day of the training, I had to miss it and head to work.
I WISHED so deeply that I didn’t have to miss it. In the afternoon, I realized that I could have made part of the class in the afternoon. And, I could feel this deep anxiety stemming from “wishing” I had made a different decision.
A FRIEND IN NEED
Third, today, I had an important meeting in DC. A really important meeting and, last minute, I had a friend who needed me to be a character witness in court at the same exact time. I so WISHED I could be both places at once. I WISHED I didn’t have to decide. I WISHED I didn’t have this conflict. I felt guilty about possibly letting my work down.
I ended up doing the meeting on the phone and selecting instead to attend my friend’s hearing, where there was no alternative to my presence.
wishing SUCKS
These are trivial examples perhaps... Even more reason why the fact that they felt as bad as they did is worthy of note...
Next time you feel anxiety building…
Next time you feel sick to your stomach…
Next time you feel small and insufficient…
Ask yourself… “What am I wishing for?”
Am I wishing I had chosen a different path?
Am I wishing I had made a different decision?
Am I wishing to be someone that I am not?
Am I wishing that I had a different choice?
Pay close attention… there is something there.
Once I accepted my mistake about the player number, I moved on. The anxiety went away. The truth was that one player at that level wasn’t going to make a real difference. And, I had a great group of kids to work with. Now, it was up to me to make them into a great team… moving forward.
Once I accepted that I had chosen not to attend the second day of class… and really, I wasn’t going to become a master in “one more afternoon”. I have the class materials. I received the book the teacher wrote. I have a mentor who knows this stuff well. I have a friend that attended the class. My work needed me. I did what I had to do – and if I want to keep learning this material… there is no reason why I can’t… moving forward.
Once I accepted that I couldn’t be two places at once. I emailed my business colleague, changed the meeting to the phone and headed to help my friend. I felt relieved. It was not as good as meeting in person, but we made real progress on the topic, and the truth is I wasn’t going to resolve it fully by being there in person. And, I was with my friend in the moment that he VERY much needed me. And, there was no substitute for my presence. I did what I had to do and got what I needed to get done, done…. Moving forward.
HARMONY happens in the moment… as does DISHARMONY.
Harmony happens when we embrace our absolute truth and move our reality toward the reality we want to make real.
DISHARMONY happens when we fail to embrace the reality of our situation, and we WISH things were different.
WISHING SUCKS... the life out of us.
I can feel the void of harmony in those moments spent wishing.
I can feel the ineffectiveness in the moments spent wishing.
I can feel the inadequacy in the moments spent wishing.
I can feel the impotency in the moments spent wishing.
I can feel the nothingness and hopelessness in the moments spent wishing.
And, then… I wonder…
How many people live unaware of the empowerment of WANT based on gratitude, versus the anxiety of WISHING based on the irrational belief that we could change the past?
How many people live in that hopelessness and in that nothingness, not knowing how to get out?
When you feel the deficiency of “WISHING”… one of two things happen…
1. You live angry. You live aggressive trying to make others feel your pain. You live offensively. You feed yourself in part by wanting to share your anger.
2. You live distant. You live defensively protecting yourself from the pain and anxiousness. You stop caring – because caring makes you hurt more.
When you are grounded in your truth… when you are grateful for your blessings and you feel the possibility of “WANT”… the empowerment of WANT…
You live gratefully – knowing that you are blessed in so many ways.
You live optimistically – knowing that a better reality is possible.
You live energetically – knowing that your efforts have a consequence.
The fact is…
The reality is…
EVERY MOMENT – is a new opportunity to create harmony…
And EVERY MOMENT spent wishing is a moment of disharmony…
wishing SUCKs the life out of you
wanting FILLs you with possibility
Know the difference.
Choose the difference.
STOP wishing.
wishing SUCKS!
Yours in harmony,
Nestor