In most areas, I believe that the principles of business and life are interchangeable.
NOT SO - when it comes to keeping score.
In business, keeping score, I believe is fundamental. Getting metrics, dashboards, and measuring progress. All KEY steps to success.
In our personal lives - I am convinced keeping score ensures LOSING.
I have heard people say, "Well, I would invite them over, but we have invited them over the past two times... it's their turn."
I have heard spouses say, "Well, it's her turn to say sorry (or to do this, or to do that) because I did it the last two times."
I have seen people shoot for goals like getting to $1,000,000 in the bank... I have some of those goals myself.
WHY IS KEEPING SCORE IN OUR PERSONAL LIVES SO BAD?
I don't know that "keeping score" in and of itself is bad. BUT, I do know that it almost always leads the "SCOREKEEPER" to the wrong conclusions and behavior.
I think its because keeping SCORE is a means of WISHING.
"I wish they'd invite us over more."
"I wish my spouse would buy me more presents."
"I wish others would consider me more."
I try never to keep score.
I invite friends over because I want to spend time with them - because I love their company, and because I love spending time with them and cooking for them. And, I invite over as often as I can. That's it. The pleasure and the expectation stops there. Some friends invite us back, some friends show their love in many other ways. Those are all separate actions.
I wish I was better at buying presents and "thinking ahead". But, I buy presents because I want people to know that I am thinking of them. I am not a fan of gift cards or cash. Though I get that they are crazy flexible. I would rather give gifts less often but with more thought. But, I don't give gifts to receive gifts.
I find that most people that keep score - do so because they want to PROVE that they are not treated equally.
I find that most people that keep score - do so because they feel like somehow they are not getting what they deserve.
In the case of getting to $1,000,000 in the bank (which I suspect is a goal for many of us) - the issue there is that we have defined a score that only reflects part of the game.
This is the other issue with keeping score... it presumes that the SCORE will lead to a WIN.
But, in SO many cases, I have seen people "win" on their SCORE and LOSE that WIN which we so deeply wanted. So often, the SCORE of money comes at the price of the WIN of family.
I am not telling anyone what to do or not do - I am just trying to draw attention to our behaviors so that we may find a greater harmony - and greater happiness and success as a result.
If you are keeping score - ask yourself this... "How often do I win?"
If you are keeing score - ask yourself this... "How often does the fact that I am keeping score - make me happier?"
If you are really honest, ask yourself this... "Am I keeping score so that I give myself and others proof that I give more than others, or dont receive as much as I deserve?" IF there is any YES to this - then rethink your whole game plan.
GIVE what you want to GIVE...
BE GRATEFUL for every bit that you RECEIVE...
But separate GIVING and RECEIVING as they are independent actions.
AND, REALIZE that WINNING is about achieving harmony.
REALIZE that winning is ultimately about a balance of gratitude, acceptance and action...
WINNING has nothing to do with any score on any score board...
JUST JUMP ON THE FIELD... LOOK UP AT THE SKY... FEEL THE SUN ON YOUR FACE...
AND PLAY in this amazing game of life...
AND BE GRATEFUL TO SIMPLY BE IN THE GAME!
NO SCORE NEEDED.
If you are going to keep score...
Keep score of how many smiles you inspire.
Keep score of how many people you touch.
Keep score of how many times per day you take a deep breath and say thank you.
Keep score of how many blessings you have.
BUT BETTER YET - JUST LIVE - AND SHARE AND BE AND ENJOY...
THAT IS WINNING!
YOURS IN HARMONY!
Nestor