It is our nature to want for more.
At least, it seems to be the nature of my closest friends and those that I admire, and those that seem to achieve great impact in their lives.
There are few days that go by that I don’t hear myself saying out loud,
“I want to be better tomorrow than I am today.”
I do.
I so desperately do.
The thing is… I want to be better across the board.
I want to be more mindful.
I want to be more patient.
I want to be more effective.
I want to be a better communicator.
I want to understand strategy better.
I want to be more balanced.
I want to be more impactful.
Many of the things that I am trying to be
BETTER
At
Are
In
CONFLICT!
If I just wanted to make my business better,
Or be a better business leader…
I could do that.
I would consume myself in that, and I know that I could make greater progress.
BUT…
I also want to be a better FATHER…
I also want to be a better HUMAN BEING…
I also want to be more in touch with what my soul needs…
I am extremely ambitious, but what makes my ambitious different, or difficult, is that I am greedy.
I’ve always wanted it all.
This goes in direct conflict with so many things that I read.
I want to be a considerate, effective and respected leader.
I want to be an enlightened and inspired and successful businessman.
I want to be an understanding father – who pushes his kids just enough, but not too much.
I want to be an engaged friend – who is truly involved in helping those around him make progress.
I want to be healthy and strong.
I want to enjoy life.
The desire for growth in so many areas makes harmony harder.
But, it is who I am.
As a result, I am happy. I really am.
But managing myself and my expectations is a full time job ;-)
This whole conversation has taken a bit of a turn. I wanted to talk about the TENSION for growth, thinking as I started, that the TENSION is between being happy in the moment, and managing the “dissatisfaction” with the moment that can creep into the “desire” for more.
GROWTH requires tension … it requires stretching, learning, questioning, reconsidering, resetting, expanding… it requires accepting that some things about our approach must change… IT requires FORCE.
Physics says that a body in motion will stay in motion (status quo) until an external force acts upon it.
As we desire to be better tomorrow than we are today, we must find and be the external force for ourselves.
But, as I write, I realize that in addition to the normal tension for growth, the greatest tension I feel is from wanting to grow in so many different ways at once.
Not sure what I do with that – other than reset myself to the concept of harmony.
Perhaps I need to consider strengthening one area at a time. Kind of like your body - you focus one day on legs, one day on core, one day on arms, some days on pushing, some days on pulling...
Thing is -
That's not me.
I've never been that guy.
I figure why not work it all out at once... And ultimately I have found workouts that do that - muscle confusion, cardio speed, TRX, boot camp kind of stuff. Think of the military... they are working core, then arms, then legs. Think of the people working the fields - they are crazy strong... they are just working hard.
That's the way I see harmony (at least for me). I am soldier for harmony. I want to get strong for harmony by working it in life, not in the gym ;-)
ABSOLUTE TRUTH… I am making progress. My business is strong. My family is strong. My body is strong. And, I need to be more grateful for that…
And, I will keep pushing to make them stronger.
I just need to keep sorting out this underlying voice… this underlying tension that sits deep in being…. Hiding out somewhere between my mind and my heart that keeps saying…
Not fast enough
Not good enough
Not clear enough
The way I find my harmony – is
by shouting out the thoughts of harmony louder than that voice.
By going through the motions of harmony – by practicing and feeling gratitude to distract me from that voice…
But, what I WANT…
the harmony I seek, is not to drown out that voice with louder voices of harmony…
the harmony I seek, is to silence that voice, once and for all…
When I am not in harmony – I don’t want disharmony – I want stillness…
I want a quiet mind…
And, there is one thing I know about me…
I won’t stop until I do.
And, I’m closer than I’ve ever been… ;-)
Yours in harmony,
Nestor