I loved Robin Williams...
Almost every role he ever played was inspired...
He made me want to be more... never less.
He was authentic, real, humble, wise, thought provoking, funny and spontaneous.
He seemed to be the same person whether he was acting or not acting. He seemed so very genuine.
How can such a famous and talented and inspired person be so lost in disharmony?
I struggle with the concept of depression. Rationally I realize it MUST be clinical. Emotionally, I feel like so many abuse the terminology. Too often I hear about people being depressed....
I cannot put myself into the heads of other people... I so wish that I could sometimes.
I cannot know what others feel... what pain, what loneliness, what sense of randomness...
I do not know when medicine is the right course of action for depression...
I have had various friends and family members suffer from depression. And, they tell me that it is overwhelming... but many of them also tell me that there isn't a clear line between depressed and non-depressed. It is an overwhelming pain to be depressed.
I am sorry to those who feel it...
AND, wherever it is that the gray space exists between normal state of mind and a depressed state of mind.... I KNOW with every ounce of my being that the concepts of harmony matter.
I KNOW and am in AWE of the tremendous power of our minds... and I am convinced that there are many states of mind that we can indeed control.
Harmony is not just an idea. Harmony is a DISCIPLINE. The concepts of harmony have been shared in so many ways by so many people over so many years.
HARMONY is not a sticker that you put on your car.
HARMONY is not a poster that goes on your wall.
HARMONY is a way to confront your EVERY moment of your life.
HARMONY is a philosophy & a discipline that we will NEVER master... but can strive to perfect.
The reason that we can never master it - is because we cannot construct it - we can only LIVE it!
It happens in the moment. It is possible to go from a moment of feeling ok, to the next moment feeling lost. Who knows if the moment of suicide comes from out of nowhere or if it slowly builds.
While harmony happens in the moment, it is a discipline that can be strengthened. By practicing it - you get stronger and better at it... so that in any given moment you have a greater ability to achieve it.
I have no idea what Robin Williams may have felt... What does anyone feel at that moment when they choose to take their own life?
But, I assure you it was massive disharmony... I assure you it was far from gratitude... I assure you it failed to embrace the millions of people that loved him...
I can only know... what I KNOW...
You can only know... what YOU know...
Robin Williams... I love you! I felt like you were my uncle, my brother, my wise friend.... And, I will miss you... though I never met you. You were real in a way that so many others in your proffession can never be.
I can't know where depression starts and stops...
I can only tell you this...
I have felt so very lost at times... I have felt so very random and so very much like I was NOT ENOUGH... and I know fully that all of those feelings existed only in my head...
The ability to focus on the moment... to accept the moment as the only place I truly exist... and the willingness to accept that in the moment, I have the ability to create harmony or disharmony has changed me... it has evolved me... it has improved me.... it has inspired me... it has defined me...
I pray for Robin Williams family, for his wife, for all of those that loved him...
He was one of a kind... in so many ways...
I can only wonder what he would have thought about harmony.... how it may have helped him deal with his demons....
I can wish that he hadn't died... but that would be purposeless.
I can want that every person out there understand the concept and the power and the possibility of the idea of harmony.... and want that we may leverage it to avoid on some level that feeling that so many have of randomness and insufficiency and purposelessness.
Oh Captain my captain... THANK YOU for making me smile and making me cry and making me THINK...
I will surely miss you... more than you could ever known...
Yours in harmony,
Nestor