I was talking to a colleague last week, who told me they were "FLAT".
"Just going through the motions, without necessary believing in them."
"Living without a purpose, without some specific meaning or something to look forward to..."
At the time, I was charged up, and gave my usual push...
"We've got to find a way to figure out your purpose, to have things to look forward to...
LIFE IS TOO SHORT A RIDE, to miss too much of it on automatic pilot."
I know that...
And, I don't know that right now, I feel much different.
Our days build momentum.
And, if you are lacking purpose momentum builds by disharmony.
You spend moments wishing you were doing more, doing something different.
Then those moments become days, and the days become weeks.
You are unhappy, and you kinda know why.... sometimes.
I try to live consciously and deliberately.
I know that my purpose is to bring harmony into the lives of those I love and those I know... to help everyone around me live a slightly better life. I truly believe that is my purpose.
And, right now, I am struggling.
Perhaps because our plans are not set.
Perhaps because in my heart of hearts I feel like our plans are a bit ambitious.
Perhaps because there are so many moving parts, and I am struggling to find the energy to keep up.
Perhaps because I am wishing I was more than I am.
But, I know that I am in a cloud of disharmony, and working to get out.
DON'T FOOL YOURSELF! THERE IS NO FLAT.
There is harmony and disharmony. There is growth and decay. There is up and there is down.
THERE IS NO FLAT.
This is why we have fight through the moments when we are not full of life and committed to growth. We must "zoom out". We must find gratitude. We must reset purpose. We must find a few moments to battle the momentum. And, then build those moments into more moments, and then into days and eventually into weeks.
A life of harmony is never reached for more than a moment at a time, but when momentum is for harmony, its easier to stay in the groove. And, when the wind is at your face, you need to fight through harder. You need... I need to find the time to refocus, REFRAME, and reset.
I feel guilty all the time. Ironically, guilty for not feeling more grateful, for not paying more attention to my boys, for not staying focussed enough on my health, for taking time-outs, for not giving enough to my parents... I hate guilt. It is the mascot for disharmony.
Guilt leads to moments of frustration, anger, and then distance, and then apathy. It is all in an effort to protect ourselves, but it does the exact opposite... It doesn't "protect" us. It EXPOSES us to disharmony, and that lets all kinds of nonsense into our heads.
Life pivots on moments... it pivots on words... it pivots so quickly.
I never said harmony was easy. I just said it was a simple formula.
In the MOMENT.
Stay away from the WISH.
Embrace the IS.
Drive for the WANT.
It's Monday. Anything is possible again. Looking for my pivot, my energy, my purpose.
THERE IS NO FLAT. If you feel FLAT, you are slipping and sliding down the path toward darkness.
NEVER GIVE UP... Life is too short not to give it your all...
Deep breath.
New Moment.
Happy Monday! Fighting through...
Find a thread for inspiration... and take a step UP, take a step FORWARD... and then one more,
and before I know it... I'll be sprinting with a smile on my face once again!
Yours in the possibility of harmony,
Nestor