My mother and I used to have all kinds of conversations. At a young age, I was her confidant. She made me feel intelligent (before she got more depressed and angry). She would seek my counsel and I loved giving it to her.
I remember, as a young teenager, I used to tell her...
"Make decisions!"
"If you make decisions, you know really quickly if they are right or not, and if they are not right, you can change them..."
"But, if you just think about your options, you drive yourself crazy and you spend your days in hypothetical worlds full of assumptions and anxieties that aren't likely to be true."
I am not sure if those were the exact words.
But, that was the thought.
I remember her proud eyes telling me how much she appreciated it.
But, she never did really did it.
So, for the past few weeks, I got deep in my head wanting to kick off 2015 with perfect clarity.
I wanted to write down all the things I learned that were important. I wanted to chart a path forward that was thought out and effective. I wanted to be ready.
And, I dreaded going into the office yesterday (a little).
I did feel fundamentally unprepared.
I felt like the whistle was about to blow and the game was about to start, and I had not done enough push ups nor run enough training runs.
But, I was aware and comfortable that the whistle was going to blow regardless.
I seldom let my fear, anxiety, hesitation keep me from LIVING the day. And, I think its because deep in my the back of my mind I think about my options:
1. HIDE
2. SHOW UP & GIVE'EM THE BEST THAT I CAN
And, option 2, while imperfect, keeps working pretty well ;-)
Once you get in the game, you figure it out.
And, you integrate the things that you have been thinking about. I am actively redefining my role at work and bringing it to a higher level. I am working to help set priorities for our executive team. I am, above else, focussed on finalizing our budgets this week. I am laying the groundwork for our meetings next week.
I didn't get everything done, but I moved the needle forward.
And, along the way, I changed some of the basic ways that I am working, so that I can work more effectively.
Today, I woke up at 3:30 am, 30 minutes before my alarm, ready to jump on the field.
A few thoughts crossed my mind....
1. I am playing for my teammates.... not for me to win, but for us to WIN (and more importantly to CONSTRUCT a greater reality and make real the opportunties that we have created for ourselves).
2. I love to play! I hate sitting on the sidelines and watching. I like to think, but I'd MUCH rather be playing and be getting real time feedback to my decisions and seeing progress in the micro-moments.
3. It ain't gotta be perfect! My expectation for a game plan is significantly more involved than is needed to play a great game. It is the right place to put my aspirations and vision, but not the right place to put my expectations. Perfection doesn't WIN games... The willingness to show up, the willingness to work hard, the willingness to MODIFY your approach based on the feedback you receive and the situation, and your commitment to NEVER GIVE UP (Thank you Jimmy V). That WINS games... that CONSTRUCTS harmony!
So, today, we go again. WIth or without people in the stands... the sun will rise and the cold dewey grass will wait for us to show up.
I've earned my spot on this team.
We are on a great winning streak.
And, the whistle is about to blow again.
It ain't gotta be perfect... just gotta give it all you've got!
It's GAME TIME!
Yours in harmony,
Nestor
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