Around the time that I graduated college, there was a joke going around...
"Why do Indian women have a dot on their forhead?" The answer was "So that you can poke them with your finger and say, "Why are you so ugly!"
Every time I heard that "joke", it horrified me.
I literally did not "get it"... I found so many Indian women beautiful. How is that funny?
and, I could't believe the lack of sensitivity.
In Peru, when asked about a woman's looks, sometimes people say, "No Vale Nada!". Which means she is "unattractive" or literally, "she isn't worth anything.... she is worthless."
I know most people say it without thinking about it. But, my goodness... WORDS MATTER!
I could never say those words out loud. Because, I would never think them.
Maybe there was a time in our evolution when that was the level of understanding... but we have evolved so far beyond that. EVOLVE THE LANGUAGE.
I struggle with the arrogance or the ignorance... or whatever it is that allows you to say those words or tell that joke.
It is hard for me to believe that we don't notice these things.
I have always had a deep need for justice, and it felt so unjust.
I remember my father talking about African Americans & Chinese making blanket statements about how unattractive they were. I would battle him for the same reasons.
I used to have a good friend. He was a big, strong, beautiful african american man. I remember him telling me why he didn't find white women attractive, but rather black women.
I was always intrigued.
I knew many beautiful Indian women and chinese women and black women and white women... but come to think of it... I hadn't always find all of those women attractive...
What is beauty and why does it matter? Why are some people able to find and see so much more beauty than others?
Beauty is simply "attractiveness", in this case of human beings. We most often speak about it in the physical sense, but it is certainly applicable to a person's character, personality and soul.
What some find beautiful physically is very possibly different than what you find beautiful...
I believe that we define what we find to be beautiful (physically) about people based on a couple of things:
1. What we have been taught to believe is beautiful by our parents, media and our nurturing. (On some level, we are conditioned and directed to understand what is beautiful by what we are told by those who raise us and by what is seen and marketed to us).
2. What we come to value and perceive as valuable. I love that in some cultures, heavy people are seen as much more beautiful thank skinny people. When we advertised in Europe with a former company, we found that the European market didn't appreciate people that were too muscular... the culture found more beauty in bodies that were softer and more sensual.
3. How broadly we are individually able to UNDERSTAND & SEE human beings!
I believe that our ability to see beauty is the same thing as our ability to appreciate.
And, that our ability to find MORE different things beautiful is the same thing as our ability to UNDERSTAND & ACCEPT more things.
Beauty is simply that which we find attractive. And, it matters, why? Because it speaks to what feeds our mind and soul, and the level to which we can SEE more beauty, we can APPRECIATE more, VALUE more and BE MORE! I think the breadth to which you can see beauty is the breadth to which you can see life. And, I think the level to which you can see beauty is inversely proportional to the size of your ego and the depth of your values.
I see more and more beauty EVERY DAY.
I find more and more people beautiful.
I see beautiful men.
And, that will make some of you smile. But, I get that not all beauty is sexual. I get that not all beauty is desirable. But it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist.
BEAUTY for me is not only what I find beautiful, but it is understand the qualities that are BEAUTIFUL in and of themselves. EVEN IF I DON'T FIND IT PERSONALLY DESIRABLE, I CAN STILL APPRECIATE IT AND UNDERSTAND THE APPEAL THAT EXISTS FOR OTHERS.
I see beautiful women everywhere.
Physically.
Spiritually.
Some friends make fun of me because they think I have no "standard". I take pride in that observation.
I believe, it's very much tied to my understanding of the world.
It's certainly not that I don't have a preference, nor that I don't find some women or men more attractive than others...
To me, it's all about harmony.
When I see someone, when I meet someone...
Do I immediately WISH they looked a certain way... and when they don't do I judge them as "NOT BEAUTIFUL"... Do I look for what I "know" as beautiful, and limit myself only to that?
OR
DO I look for what about them is valuable and beautiful? Do I consider not just what about them I find attractive, but also what others may find attractive? Do I truly explore them visually AND as human beings to find all that is beautiful about them...
I truly believe that EVERY HUMAN being is beautiful in some way.
And, I realize that my perception of what is attractive is limited based on the limitations of what I can understand and what I can see and what I can value.
To find few things beautiful - in my mind - is to have a small mind. Or at least, a small window that allows our mind to see light.
To be able to see ALL that is beautiful is to be able to enjoy all that life brings us...
The more you see beauty - the more you feel joy.
The more you see beauty - the more you know love.
The more you realize that what YOU are able to see as beautiful very possibly says more about how beautiful you are - than how beautiful the other human being you are observing is?
The more beauty that you see, the more perspective that you have.
This plays out in SO many ways.
In business, our ability to see beauty is our ability to see VALUE.
And, it can apply to situations, companies, products AND people.
I see beauty EVERYWHERE. It is not because my bar is low, but quite the opposite - it is because my bar is SO high... not LIMITING the things I find value in, but always trying to challenge myself to SEE MORE & UNDERSTAND MORE & APPRECIATE MORE.
The more I understand, the more I realize that what we see as physically beautiful is such a small part of beauty.
The more I understand, the more I see not just more beauty, but so many more dimensions of beauty. It's almost like understanding that like the earth itself, beauty is not flat, but rather three dimensional, and actually virtually dimensionless.
The more I understand, the more I realize there may be NO SUCH THING as "BEAUTY". There are only human beings and values. And, what we choose to call beautiful is simply the level to which we truly see & value each other.
Why does that matter?
You tell me....
Your in harmony,
Nestor