Do you love yourself UNCONDITIONALLY?
As you know, the concept of HARMONY is the single most powerful concept that I have ever come across.
With respect to self development, relationship development, strategic development…
With respect to achieving a life of happiness and success…
It is, in my opinion, the ONLY concept that I need.
I want to write more about the concept of harmony and how it applies to business development and strategy. I want to, because I know it can (and has had for me) massive positive affect on my business. And, because I think it will give it credibility for many who otherwise see these ideas as “touchy feely” emotional self help concepts.
And yet, my gravity for some reason keeps bringing me back to the self.
Maybe its because the self is where it all begins.
Maybe its because until I have resolved myself, everything else seems secondary.
I believe you have to either RESOLVE yourself or IGNORE yourself to “achieve” success. And, if you “IGNORE” yourself, you will eventually hold yourself accountable and your success will unwind.
I think this is part of the reason why we FOCUS SO MUCH on OTHER PEOPLE’S FLAWS. Specially, those we “love” most. Because, focusing on RESOLVING other people’s flaws distracts us from trying to resolve ourselves. Focusing on the flaws of others makes us NOT HAVE TO RESOLVE ourselves. Whether that is conscious or subconscious… the people I know who are MOST critical with others flaws ARE THE MOST FLAWED! Focussing internally must be brutally difficult… so they go after the flaws of those around them with a vengeance… (WOW… this feels so true…)
And, it’s my lack of my own ability to love myself UN-conditionally that then keeps me from being able to love others in the same way. HEAVY STUFF!
The SELF is the ATOM of harmony, and the INTER-ACTIONS of harmony happen in the MOMENT.
All harmony is achieved one moment at a time, by one SELF interacting with another self.
So, anyway, here I am again sitting in a Starbucks at 1:30 a.m. awaiting my 4 am flight out of Lima, Peru on another self inflicted therapy session.
I can’t wait to get home. I love home…
The conversation yesterday about not just ACCEPTING but EMBRACING others‘ imperfection and flaws in order to love them, struck a chord. I guess that is what UNCONDITIONAL love is… to embrace the flaws.
And, the concept of embracing my own flaws in order to love myself makes me smile. Because, I have learned to love myself… REALLY! But, I love myself conditionally… on the condition that I keep fixing all the stuff that is broken. And, that ain’t good enough for harmony.
How can you EMBRACE your flaws without becoming complacent? Won’t embracing my own flaws lead me to stagnation?
If I get TOO comfortable with my own flaws, won’t that take away my desire to improve?
Despite my hesitation, I think the short answer is… HELL NO (with a head shake for affect)!
Harmony is EMBRACING the ABSOLUTE TRUTH while moving your reality in that moment a little closer to what you WANT.
There is an ENERGY, an ACTIVENESS, a DELIBERATENESS in harmony that works.
EMBRACING your flaws is not where you stagnate, but rather WHERE YOU START to achieve harmony. As it is EMBRACING the TRUTH!
There is an almost magical energy when you embrace the truth and move toward the want.
Trying to move myself in each moment toward a better me, WITHOUT accepting my truth (my flaws)… leads to WISHING that I was better already. I don’t know if that makes sense to you, but it does so clearly to me.
Trying to move myself toward a better me WITHOUT accepting my flaws is WISHING that I was better already. It’s trying to be better IN ORDER TO BE ENOUGH.
Whereas, embracing your flaws, ACCEPTING THE TRUTH OF WHAT YOU ARE, AND THE FACT THAT YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE… AND THEN MOVING TOWARD what you want is making a better version of you… and a happier version of you.
It’s subtle, but its so very true. It’s so VERY different.
Trying to be better in order to be enough… makes you never able to achieve being “enough”.
Trying to be better to be even better than enough… allows your soul not just to grow, but to love and enjoy who you are in the process…
I am not quite there… but EVER closer.
I don’t know why this is so FREAKING hard for me to embrace.
It’s my missing link, and yet I feel like I can almost touch it. (Kind of like when you drop a coin between the seat in your car and the console and your fingers can touch it but can’t get enough of a hold of it to pull it out, and you cant really get leverage, and there isn’t enough space to get both fingers together. Not that its ever happened to me – but you know what I am talking about, no? :-)
Let’s just leave it there for now… and I am going to try to catch my flight.
Do you love yourself UNCONDITIONALLY? WITHOUT CONDITION?
Do you require yourself to be better in some way in order to love yourself fully?
I now understand the difference…
Can you love anyone else UNCONDITIONALLY, until you love yourself that way?
I have always heard that you have to love yourself first…
And, maybe I am figuring out why that is so very necessary.
You can’t start the HARMONY reaction, until it is sparking IN THE SELF.
If you want harmony, read this post twice. I’m planning on it… there is something powerful in this one… I am sure of it ;-)
Go love yourself already! And, while you are at it... make it UN - conditionally ;-)
Then, maybe I can start writing more about business....
Yours,
Nestor