Yesterday, I attended the funeral of an exceptional man, who died with a lot of life left in him.
The seats where all full, and the mood was somber.
As strange as it sounds, I enjoy funerals.
Obviously, I don’t wish for anyone to die, nor for anyone to feel the pain of losing someone dear.
But, people do die… and I find joy (along with sadness) in participating in their memorial service.
As, I sat there yesterday, I struggled with the generic and somewhat predictable religious narrative. I struggle with the concept that “God, calls us back”. But, religion is a sensitive topic for another day.
I find that funerals give us perspective in a way that few other things can.
So many thoughts about harmony filled my mind. Death forces so many absolute truths and excites the wants and wishes to spin almost uncontrollably.
And, the thought that filled my mind was…
WHY DO WE LIVE?
And, possibly, more specifically,
Why do I live?
There is such a commonality to life.
At our funerals, so much of what will be said will be so similar.
The “best” of who we were will be brought forth… and the unique impression we leave behind will be less defined by what people say about us, and probably more by how many people come to hear it, and how deeply people feel your departure.
That’s what we are playing for, I thought to myself… for how deeply we affect people’s lives.
I am not sure that is it.
There is a commonality to who we are as human beings…
Who we want to be as fathers (or mothers), as friends, as spouses, as professionals.
I am fascinated by business, and by the reality that our success in business is about how we UNIQUELY DIFFERENTIATE our companies.
I believe the level to which we DIFFERENTIATE our companies in a RELEVANT way of adding value defines the level of our success.
The better that people understand how we are unique as a company, the more successful we will be.
And, yesterday, at the funeral, I was so convinced that the same applies to people.
How are we unique?
Why do we uniquely live?
The level to which we know…
The level to which others know…
Of how we are unique is potentially the level to which we “succeed” in life.
We are all so vastly similar, and at the same time we are so very, very different.
WHY DO YOU LIVE?
What are the unique motivators in your life?
What are the unique motives in your life?
How do you leave your impression upon the world for having lived?
YOU, UNIQUELY YOU, SPECIFIC TO YOU?
I do believe… the level to which you can answer that question, is the level to which you will “succeed”, and own “happiness” and “joy”.
So, I was thinking… WHY do I live?
The first thoughts were – “to make the world around me a better place”.
TOO GENERIC… my mind screamed.
“To be the very best version of myself that I can possibly be!”
TOO GENERAL, not specific enough!
Why do I live?
SPECIFICALLY, I demanded of myself…
I live for Lucas, Marco and Nicholas.
… That felt better.
I live to love them and launch them caringly into the world.
I live for Susy, for papapa (my father), and for mamama (my mother)…
I live for my friends, for my family, for my colleagues.
I live to strengthen my company… to make it a better, more stable, and more positive place for people to invest their lives and time.
I live to better understand and spread the concept of harmony as best as I possibly can, to help those I know and love understand it with me.
I live for JOY… for the joy of moments, of deep breaths, of awareness of breezes, sunlight, flavor, of the warmth of human beings, of the comfort of friends.
There is no right answer…
“Wisdom is a love affair with questions” remember. As, Julio Olalla, says.
Keep asking the question of yourself…
WHY DO I LIVE?
And, keep working the answer.
I live very specifically for those I love, and I love so many people.
I love this journey that we are all sharing.
I see all of us, arm in arm, working to make sense of life.
I live for joy… and joy comes from gratitude and gratitude includes sadness.
Because to truly feel sadness, you have to feel loss, and to feel loss means we had something to lose… and we never really lose anything or anyone, because it lives on with us.
I enjoy funerals because to me, they don’t define our death.
Death is an immediate act.
Death is a moment.
Death is one VERY brief moment in our journey.
The last moment.
We don’t get to reflect on our own death, because once we experience it… we are gone.
We make sense of death by making sense of life.
And, so when we go to funerals, we go to celebrate the LIFE of those we knew.
When we reflect on those who have died, we think about the LIVES they LIVED.
We think about how they MARKED our lives… We think without realizing it on WHY THEY LIVED.
We get to LIVE an infinite number of moments… death is simply the last one.
While funerals happen after we die, I find joy in them because they celebrate why we lived… and the people who define why we live are the ones that come to share in the sadness… in the loss… which is real and painful.
But for those of us attending the funeral… we have moments ahead of us to make a difference, to enjoy, to feel, to find purpose… to reflect, to reset, to re launch ourselves into our world…
I went to the funeral of an exceptional man yesterday, and I felt deeply WHY HE LIVED... and the impression he left upon the world. And, I was inspired by him, and in awe of him, and I found joy and sadness in getting to know him so much better all be it in his absence. His departure leaves a gaping hole in those that knew him, and I am so very grateful for having known him. He was an exceptional man.
Funerals make me think about WHY I LIVE, not why I will die.
And, the better I can articulate and own the answer, the greater joy that I will know in my journey.
You are part of why I live. You are part of my joy. And, I am so very grateful…
Spread YOUR harmony in YOUR own way… feel joy today,
Nestor