I love the riddle, “How do you eat an elephant?”
ANSWER: One bite at a time…
Possibly not the best metaphor with the whole Cecil the Lion thing, but it works.
I have been struggling to bite off what feels like a tremendously important observation with respect to creating harmony or disharmony in our lives…
So, this is going to be a week long theme that I will try to break down into smaller bites. I hope you find as much value in it as I have. I believe it is the most compelling variable in achieving a life of harmony…
There is a fine line, but a CRITICAL line, between my taking personal accountability for things and taking things personally. Taking personal accountability creates harmony. Taking things personally, in almost every scenario, creates disharmony. And, often these two behaviors happen in my sub-conscious, not in my deliberate conscious.
So, I want to explore these thoughts with you. I don’t know exactly where the line is, but I am getting better at knowing when I am sitting on the wrong side, and occasionally, I feel myself trip over it.
Let’s shine light on this whole topic… and even if we can’t figure out exactly where the line is, we will be more likely to find it.
Where do we start?
I am a fan of starting with definitions… How do we define the two?
TAKING PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY means
- holding myself personally responsible for the outcome of my actions
- looking first at what my personal contribution could have been, should have been in any given situation
- CARING about the outcome
- WORKING PROACTIVELY for a successful outcome
- DIGGING IN to truly understand what is going on
- NET – INVESTING MYSELF, BEING VESTED, in the execution (success or failure) of my commitments and responsibilities and DOING EVERYTHING REASONABLY WITHIN my power to ensure the success. HOLDING myself responsible above all others. I WILL CARE ABOUT WHAT I DO WITH PERSONAL CONCERN.
TAKING THINGS PERSONALLY means
- The success or failure of my actions will affect my person, my being.
- The success or failure of what I DO will affect who I AM.
- I will care about the outcome
- I will dig into understand why things fail if they do. I may dig in if its going well.
- NET – THE RESULT of my responsibilities (succeed or fail) will DEFINE ME. And, thus if I succeed, I will be a winner. And, if I fail, I will be a loser. What I DO will define WHO I AM.
Said another way…
Taking personal accountability allows me to leverage REASON in the execution of my commitments. Taking things personally results in feeling significant EMOTION from the execution of my commitments.
These two different mindsets create completely different environments in the people around you, the people you work with, and in how you feel about yourself, your work, and your life.
Think about which of these you do?
Chances are you do both…
Think about when you do which…
WHEN is taking things personally valuable, if ever?
How does which mindset you choose affect your CAPACITY for leadership?
How do you act differently when you are doing one versus the other?
Why are your parents, your spouse and your children so very difficult not to take personally?
Is this possibly the greatest personal awareness to master or improve upon in achieving a life of harmony (success and happiness)? I believe it very well could be...
And, I would argue it affects us MUCH more often and in MANY more ways than we realize...
Stay tuned…
Yours in harmony,
Nestor