I am a romantic... in all aspects of life.
I have been listening and reading a lot about relationships, and have come across Dr. Gottman, who has spent his life studying marital relationships.
When he couldn't find a good definition of ROMANCE, he asked his 18 year old daughter and she said,
"Romance is an agreement that you make with your partner
that there will be MAGIC in your relationship…
and it is a shared fantasy
that eventually becomes a reality.”
I BELIEVE IN MAGIC!
I see so much fluidity between these concepts and insights. The things that Gottman talks about as fundamental to successful marital relationships are EXACTLY the things that make successful relationships at work, in friendships, in LIFE!
We so often separate the "personal" things from "work" things, but I KNOW they are the SAME things...
Clearly, there are some different boundaries & some different consequences at work, but the fact and the truth is that we are HUMAN BEINGS... and as such, the science of what works, simply works, and what doesn't, simply doesn't.
SUCCESS IS IN THE WORK
JOY IS IN THE MAGIC
Remember this thought...
Success is hard work. Success is GRIT.
Success is day-in, day-out, our ability to STICK WITH IT...
Improving ourselves.
Understanding ourselves.
Applying ourselves.
Over and over and over... that is and leads to success.
SUCCESS IS WORK... IS THE JOURNEY... IS NOT GIVING UP.
So often, so many, so wrongly see SUCCESS as the light, the destination, the eventuality.
I've been there. I've been wrong.
JOY IS THE MAGIC
AND IT'S REAL...
I KNOW, because I FEEL IT in so many parts of my life...
the MAGIC... the FANTASTIC, FULL, ELATED, SUPER NATURAL FEELING...
of that hug that lasts longer than you expected,
of that "perfect" golf shot that actually hits the green,
of that sunset or sunrise you saw on your last vacation,
or on your drive home...
of that unexpected slow dance...
of that genuine "THANK YOU"...
of that deal you won, or that technology you created...
of alignment on vision and dreams, not just with your spouse, but with your friends, with your colleagues, with your company...
I have become slowly through the years more aware of the "magic" in life, and I am ambitious for more of it.
Once you realize its there, why wouldn't we pursue it in every aspect of our lives... in every relationship on whatever level it can be felt?
If you don't make a commitment to "MAGIC", you may happen upon it randomly, or you may miss it when it comes.
If you don't make a commitment to "MAGIC", you may live not realizing it exists.
AND, "MAGIC" isn't "MAGIC" at all...
It's connection...
It's distancing ourselves from the mundane, from the tactical, from the to do...
It's running in the woods, making love by a fire, toasting a hard won client, sharing your dreams...
It's allowing ourselves to feel & to dream & to escape...
It's not "MAGIC" at all...
It's purposeful JOY...
And, I am fairly certain, "Happiness" is SUCCESS and JOY together...
Happiness is sustainable "joy" that is bridges with the feeling of "success".
It's not just about our spouse... it's about all of our relationships, including the one with ourselves...
It's naive to think that it can all be magical... it's child-like (which is not a terrible thing). As we grow up, we must embrace the WORK that goes with it.
But it's possibly the ultimate human sadness not to believe in magic at all... because work and life without "magic" is barely breathing...
Have you made the agreement to find the MAGIC?
Because,
It's what keeps you coming back...
What keeps you waking up...
What makes you smile, and laugh, and dream, and hope...
It's the MAGIC in our days, in our love, in our work... that makes it all worthwhile.
I didn't realize just how much I believed in MAGIC, until recently,
and now I suspect I will forever...
SUCCESS IS THE WORK
JOY IS THE MAGIC...
Say it out loud...
I believe in MAGIC, and then go do the work to find it!
In harmony,
Nestor