Almost 50…
That thought keeps popping in my mind.
I am almost 50.
Part of it feels completely normal.
All of it feels completely normal.
More than anything I am GRATEFUL to be “almost 50”, to be alive, to be strong and free and capable…
A colleague at work who is my age just had a heart attack and is still in ICU. I know it can happen to anyone at anytime. While I don't expect that it will happen to me. I also know that the odds keep rising.
I am just aware that with every day that passes, there are more clicks on my odometer.
Not a bad thing... just miles traveled.
It doesn't feel old. And, it does.
And,
I’m ALMOST 50!
There is this nagging sentiment,
This persistent thought that chases me,
This constant voice that asks me,
“Have you done enough? Have you made it count?”
It probably doesn’t help that I have spent the last two weeks listening to the audio book about Elon Musk’s biography.
Here is a guy who at the age of 25 made his first 22 million, then goes on to create Pay Pal as an Act II, and makes a few hundred million dollars… then plows virtually all of that money into creating SpaceX, Tesla and Solar City.
He runs three companies (two mainly), and his simple goals are to establish human life on Mars, change the nature and the experience of transportation on earth, and move the earth to sustainable energy…
What amazes me most about unbelievable stories like his (and there aren't many that compare), is not the size of his success and his accomplishments... (though those merit great amazement). What amazes me and inspires me most... is to learn about the hurdles that he has overcome, the mountains he has climbed, the challenges he has faced and stood up to... the many, many, many nay sayers who were smarter, better informed, more experienced... who "KNEW" he would fail and spoke to it. And, the very real brink of disaster that he and his companies stood on while trying to turn the corner toward stability and success.
His conviction never wavered. Some call it insanity... and ultimately genius.
He pushes everyone to great disharmony... to a point where nearly everyone hates him... and then ends up loving him for pushing them to achieve things they would never have achieved without him.
There are so many lessons for me to learn from that... I don't know that I am that person... that person that can impose a vision creating great disharmony... to achieve a discontinous success... but the challenge, is that IS the person that I want to be.
Can I ever achieve great results and great transformation of myself or my company without stepping and embracing fully the disharmony that change creates?
Do I have the courage that it takes to impose a vision on an organization?
I believe I do.
And, I believe I haven't tapped it fully. In fact, I believe I am just now, as I near 50, starting to tap it.
Yeah… I’m 49… he’s 45…
And, ot feels at times like I am just trying to keep everyone in my small little $80 million dollar company from killing each other (kidding ;-)) But, I believe that is what happens when a VISION is not imposed with enough clarity and conviction... the other tensions in a company become the priority.
Great transformation requires great tension.
And, great tension requires great courage, and importantly great stamina.
I smile as I write this…
I know I am not Elon Musk.
I know most of us are not.
And, yet, I aspire to make a bigger difference.
In listening to his story, I am taken aback not by what he has accomplished, but by what he has overcome.
Think BIG. Act BIG. Achieve BIG.
There is something to that…
With SpaceX, his goal is to privatize space travel and the business of space, and take it away from the governments by executing it better. At a time when the US Government has given up on NASA, Elon Musk decides with his own funds to start a space company… AND SUCCEEDS not just at getting to space, but getting there cheaper and faster than anyone else, and providing tremendous security to the country when he succeeds…
WOW…
I love my life.
I appreciate what I have achieved.
And, I am embarrassed by the “size” of my problems… and disappointed by the “size” of my ambitions.
I feel like I have been blessed with gifts of intellect, health, and leadership…
I know I can accomplish more… and I so very much want to prove to myself that I can.
So, here I am, almost 50…
And, who cares about that…
It’s not about age… it’s about production… it’s about growth… it’s about making our dreams come true.
Truth is… so many of my dreams have come true.
And, so many are still out there just beyond my reach.
I am learning.
I am almost 50, and my learning pace has never been higher.
To that voice in my head that keeps asking the question, the answer is…
“I have done what I have done…
Good or bad… it has been the best that I have been able to do…
And, I am grateful for every bit of it thusfar…
AND, the REAL question is…
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO NOW… WHAT AM I GOING TO DO NEXT… AM I GOING TO ACCELERATE THE PACE TOWARD MY DREAMS, THE PACE OF MY CONTRIBUTION…
THE LEVEL OF MY GRATITUDE?
I am almost 50…
And, I am so very grateful to be here…
And, I am still dreaming,
And, I am so very grateful…
And, I am so NOT DONE!
I’m just getting warmed up!
Elon Musk… I will never catch you, and I am not racing you… I am simply inspired by you, grateful for people like you, grateful to share in the world with you… to dream alongside of you… and to learn from you… Love how you are changing the world, and more excited to buy a Tesla some day than EVER!
In nearing 50 harmony,
Nesto