It is hard for me not to write about what is going on in our country,
because it fills my mind...
There is possibly no greater example of the dynamics of harmony and disharmony than how a country navigates its way through politics.
BUT - we all deserve a break ;-)
So, let's talk about LOVE,
and while I believe this applies to all types of love,
I am most thinking about marital love as I write.
There are many "kinds" of love, and ultimately, I think only two might matter.
Guarded and Free...
Do you know what I mean?
When we are in a "guarded" state of love,
we love and we hold back...
we say less of what is on our mind because we don't know how our partner is going to react.
When you say something "wrong" it brings the conversation to a stop and it divides you and distances you a little bit more.
we have conversations with our spouse that they don't actually participate in, because we have them in our heads.
guarded love is full of unasked and unanswered questions,
but more importantly guarded love doesn't grow, doesn't expand
because guarded love lacks trust...
And, as a result, guarded love makes us love each other less and less everyday.
Then, there is "FREE" love...
When we are in a state of free love - it flows.
You say what is on your mind and all of your conversations with your spouse are spoken.
When you say something wrong, it is simply corrected - it is noted, discussed and the conversation continues.
In a state of FREE love, all questions are asked and the answers are used to better understand each other and improve upon the dynamics of a relationship.
In FREE love - you can simply BE yourself,
because free love is full of trust -
and it grows and expands and fills every cavity of your day and your soul.
And, as a result - you love each other more and more and better and better every day.
LIFE is not so simple as to always be in one state or another...
we are often somewhere "between" the two states - and in the middle it is often noisy and confusing.
But FREE love "IS" what we all deeply WANT...
FREE love is vulnerable because it is UNguarded
and that is what makes it powerful and boundless.
I would riddle you this...
where is your LOVE today?
where is your love in this moment?
and, in the spirit of harmony...
what are you doing in this moment to set it FREE?
Like everything in life, love happens in the moment...
and harmony begets harmony...
FREE begets more FREE,
and guarded begets more guarded.
Like all else in life - you will FAIL - in many moments.
Sometimes it may be days, or weeks, or months, or years...
but like all aspects of life - you can pivot in a moment -
and as soon as you notice it you can start to transform it...
in that moment...
and moment to moment...
for a lifetime.
And, it ain't easy...
Love and relationships take work...
but the work feels so very joyful when you are moving toward the right state...
LOVE DELIBERATELY...
LOVE FREE!
And, in harmony,
Nestor