The entire concept of harmony started for me when a friend in 1990 said to me,
“With everything you say and do, you either give life or take life away!”
It was one of those moments that changed the trajectory of my life.
I was thinking about those words this morning in the silence of my bed almost 27 years later…
WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!
I thought to myself… ALMOST IMMEDIATELY when I heard those words 27 years ago, I changed them.
My mind went immediately to – people either give life or take life in every moment. I remember almost immediately my mind went to my father.
It was an A-HA moment… “be mindful of people around you”, I thought. Surround yourself with people who give you life, as much as possible.
27 years later, I notice something so very important that I completely missed.
She said, “With everything YOU say and DO… YOU either give life or take it away”
She was talking to ME, and I almost immediately made it about everyone else.
Sure, I have been mindful in my life about the fact that I want to be a GIVER, not a TAKER.
But again, I focus on my want to GIVE to OTHERS…
“With everything I say and do, I either give life or take it away…”
I do believe that for the vast majority of us, we are still in a state of enlightenment where people CAN take life away from us…
But, ultimately, I believe ONLY WE can take life from ourselves.
How focused am I on giving LIFE to myself in every moment, instead of TAKING it AWAY?
How willing am I to own my blessings, my fortune, my strengths in every moment?
Trust me, I am no saint.
I do not explore harmony for others – I explore it for myself – and I share it with others.
I am in this wonderful journey of discovery, as we all are, at different levels of enlightenment, meaning, purpose and joy.
And, this morning I realized that for 27 years, I have been looking at ONLY one side of one of the most beautiful concepts that has ever been shared with me.
With everything you say and do, you either give life or you take life away… AND there is NO ONE that you can GIVE or TAKE life away from more impactfully or meaningfully than to yourself.
In fact, I am fairly certain, that UNTIL we learn how to GIVE life to ourselves we are limited in our capacity to TRULY give it to others.
In my life, I have found that often I have made people around me feel better – especially if they are not extremely close to me.
Those people closest to me – my wife, my mother, my father, perhaps my boys, those I work with closest… I have failed over and over to GIVE them life, because they are so close to me, our beings are so intertwined and interlinked that they suffer the criticality that I intend for myself.
I don’t know if you follow that – but its so very clear in my head.
I can make you feel better about you, but where there is an “us” involved – it is really hard.
It is why friends are so much easier to navigate than spouses or children or parents… because with friends our journey’s remain independent… our journey’s are shared…
But with those closest to us… most especially with our parents, and then with our spouse… it’s not our journeys, but our BEING that is shared.
I have noticed in recent months how hard it is for people that I care a lot about to work with me. I have noticed in recent months how hard it is for people closest to me…
Because – I am not good at GIVING life to myself. As committed as I am to harmony, I take and take from my own person in moments. I doubt and question and doubt and question…
In exploration, with benevolent intent, with a kind heart… I take and take from myself in moments… in the “spirit” and with the “intent” of growing and improving… but that non-stop desire for more growth and learning brings a criticality that takes from me, and as a result takes from those whom I share my being, and most generously wish to give.
SIGH…
If you have felt that criticality from me… I am sorry... truly sorry.
I don’t know how to have a huge appetite for improving myself in every moment, and at the same time, be grateful and mindful for all that I am and all of my blessings…
WAIT A MINUTE…
I DO KNOW…
HARMONY…
HARMONY is EXACTLY THAT – the embracing of the "IS" while striving for the WANT…
HARMONY is the elusive, the powerful, the magic, the balance, the discipline of happiness and success…
Perhaps,
that which we most seek,
That which we most desire,
Is already part of us,
And, the secret is not to reach OUT for it,
but to look within ourselves and EMBRACE it...
Could it be...
In harmony,
Nesto