When people ask me about my role in the company,
I often say...
"My job is to make sure that conversations
that NEED to happen,
CAN happen...
And, DO happen!"
And, I mean that! And, at work, I do a fairly good job of keeping that in mind. That should really be my role in all aspects of my life.
As good as I think I may be at "conversations", I don't do nearly as good a job in my personal life as I do in my professional life... and I can do better at work too.
Here are a few things that I have noticed...
1. The longer that you wait to have a "hard" conversation - the "harder" it is to have it, to get started. By hard here, I am referring to the conversations where you know the topic or the content could be hurtful though necessary.
2. There are different levels of TRUST and Intimacy in conversations. The less comfortable that you are with people the more that you have to enter those levels one at a time... you have to get comfortable in one level and then introduce the next... each one opening up a new level of candor and a new level of vulnerability. With those you trust deeply, you can bounce around from level 1 to level 5 and back again, often in the same sentence.
3. NOTHING is more important, more constructive, more liberating than putting the real conversations that are on your mind on the table with those you love and care about. There are many topics in my life, where I have failed to follow my own lead. I have made conversations that needed to be had into conversations that I had with myself. At NO time in my 48 years has that served me well. At NO time in my 48 years has that created sustainable harmony in my life.
4. The PACE of conversations MATTER... Be mindful of it...
How often do you talk about what really matters?
How often do you really talk to those who really matter?
When you make conversation part of your shared behavior, it is seldom or never awkward.
When you make conversation part of your investment, it is always showing a return.
When you make conversation part of who you are, it is much easier to progress along the levels or bring the topics forward that need to be shared.
At home or at work... it is so easy to not converse, to simply TRANSACT.. to simply DO... and it is so very easy to just get lost in the flow of the EVERYTHING.
"Sure we talk!" We all think to ourselves... but WHAT do we talk about? DO we exchange soundbytes to keep our heads above water? Do we exchanges soundbytes to be polite? Do we exchange soundbytes because we are supposed to say something? Do we share soundbytes as we both fall down the same slippery slope...
Or, do we really talk? Do we make time for conversation?
Do we talk about what matters to us? Do we talk about our dreams? Our fears? What keeps us up at night and what helps us fall asleep?
Mind your pace... the pace of sharing those thoughts you hold most important... with those you hold most dear... or who are most essential to making your vision come to life...
Make the time to progress through the levels...
Every conversation that
NEEDS to happen,
MUST happen....
to achieve harmony.
Where multiple people are concerned - the TRUTH must be MUTUALLY understood...
Where multiple people are concerned - the WANT must be mutually understood...
So that HARMONY can happen.
Conversations are so very critical on the things that matter.... because its the only way HARMONY can be achieved on the things that matter...
And, WHAT, if anything, can be more important than that...
Mind the PACE of your meaningful conversations...
Mind the RIVER of EVERYTHING that keeps you from controlling the dialogue...
And, make the time for conversations...
Don't let EVERYTHING THAT IS GOING ON dictate the pace...
Because ultimately, EVERYTHING that MATTERS for success and happiness, depends on those conversations.
YOU SELECT deliberately ... what WILL define your EVERYTHING?
Or EVERYTHING that is going on will define what matters to you at random.
And what truly matters most... may fade or disappear.
Yours in harmony,
Nestor