I try to stand outside of myself and evaluate my progress...
And, this week, felt in some ways like a "week of reckoning".
It was a good week, but something sort of snapped inside my head.
I have been ineffective at imposing accountability around me... in my company, and in some ways in my home.
I want accountabilty.
I believe in accountability.
In myself above all others.
And, not the accountability that is there to find fault and blame.
I want the accountability that makes clear and transparent the direction that I am setting for myself.
I want the accountability that sets clear expectations for myself, with others, and within others.
I want the accountability that makes me productive, makes me constructive... and ultimately makes me satisfied and proud.
I want the accountability that allows me to know more frequently, more systemically, more accurately where I am relative to where I want to be on my journey.
I want that accountability and as President of my company and father of my family... I have a responsibility to inspire it, demand it, educate it and bring it to life in those around me.
I have been so focused on trying to get my arms around my own accountability, I go to such lengths to take responsibility to own what I do... that I leave little energy and focus in myself to create it in others.
My own accountability consumes me... and it just can't.
I need to be more accountable to myself.
I need to be more systemic and effective with my own accountability.
And, I must find a way to bring it to life in those I lead and those I care about.
A few days ago, I shared my word... COURAGE...
And, the courage that I need in large part is to IMPOSE myself to impose accountability.
Some people really appreciate my coaching, my leadership... those people tend to be the ones that are already fairly good at holding themselves accountable.
The people who appreciate me are the ones that value my intent.
And, who see the effort and the care and the thought that I put in my actions...
I will accept mild praise... when I am not valued for my intent, but for my results... for my contribution... at the level of which I am capable... that is a high bar... that is the right bar.
Truth is - I can be and will be a much better leader, and I can be a much better father. I need to lead by being a better example, and engage in more courageous conversations more systemically.
I still believe that I am a fair leader. And, to be a GREAT leader, a GREAT coach, a GREAT father... I need to create GREATER accountability, clearer expectations, in myself and those around me, and I need to create a much more consistent conversation as to our progress against those expectations.
It is crystal clear to me - how important this is for me to address.
I have always, or more accurately most often, stepped back from imposition. I have always rejected those who tried to impose upon me.
I need to grow up, and realize that IMPOSING ACCOUNTABILITY is a necessary step to ACHIEVING GREATNESS... and imposing SOME level of accountability is necessary to achieving any level of success and happiness...
As human beings... we want to be WORTHY... and to be WORTHY we must construct... we must evolve... we must know that we are contributing... and ACCOUNTABILITY is the mindset, the behavior, the methodology, the diligence, the discipline of constructing better...
And, thus, accountability is essential for worth... and essential for harmony.
And, I can do better.
And, I will.
Nestor