Several times in the past two weeks...
I have caught myself.
I tell myself... "BREATHE", "NO", "NOT YET"... "HOLD IT", "WAIT!"...
"DON'T JUMP IN!!!!!"
"DON'T SAY IT..."
"NOT YET!"
As leaders, as parents, as people who want do get stuff done,
and done right...
WE ARE CONSTANTLY JUMPING!
We probably jump quicker than others, which is why we have worked our way into leadership positions. And, now that we are here, we are actually supposed to do THE OPPOSITE of what we did to get ourselves here.
WE NEED TO SHUT UP.
I NEED TO SHUT UP.
OK - maybe not shut up, but WAIT and GIVE PEOPLE AROUND YOU, give the organization, the people who are supposed to be leading and owning the work... GIVE THEM THE TIME and SPACE to actually do that!
When we jump in immediately, with emails, with ideas, with decisions, with comments... We actually STEAL our employees opportunities to think, to engage, to own, to lead themselves.
So, I am conscious as I try to grow up into my role and into a better, wiser leader...
WARNING: OK - the likely pitfall the first few years of trying this is that you will be holding and waiting for someone to...
SAY EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE THINKING
OR
WHAT YOU THINK SHOULD BE SAID...
NO! That's not it...
Certainly, you want the right risks, upsides, and considerations to be made in the conversation. That is where you can possibly contribute some QUESTIONS not some ANSWERS....
BUT, the idea is not to just wait for someone to say what you would have said... It' s much more to allow people to say what THEY think, and then OWN what they plan...
Otherwise, you will give people room to speak - and then you will correct them when they don't give the right answer...
(For some reason there is a voice in my head right now yelling, "GUILTY!!!!!!")
I am mindful of my desire to POUNCE... and I LOVE POUNCING.
Pouncing works so very much against the way I want to lead.
Pouncing keeps me in the lead of things that I should not be leading.
Pouncing makes the other leaders disengage.
SO...
BREATHE...
HOLD THAT THOUGHT...
DON'T BE THE FIRST TO REPLY TO THAT EMAIL...
Give the organization and the people in it a chance to think, to speak and to shine...
MAYBE you had a better answer...
MAYBE you didn't...
GIVE them the space to learn, to lead and to grow.
AND, in the peace of your own silence... realize...
YOU ARE GROWING UP TOO!
in harmony,
Nestor
P.S. And, by the way, I need to try it with my boys at home. It applies there as well!