I want to share a gift that I received from a dear friend
This past Christmas…
Possibly the nicest gift that I have ever received…
He said that I could.
I think about it often, and my soul smiles.
To be SEEN, exactly as you hope to be seen…
We do a gift exchange and we pick a name, and this year, we had to “make something original” for each other.
He picked my name out of a hat, and his gift was priceless. I have hesitated to share this letter with you, because it feels boastful and self serving… but my own inability to own it is part of my own struggle. The beauty in this is that my dear friend felt compelled enough to write it, and that in the quiet of my own mind, I hear him reading it out loud and my it makes my soul happy…
We spend our lives trying to make an impression on people, and especially on people we love…
When it was my turn to receive my gift, he stood up… gave me a package, which I opened. It had a letter in it, and he asked me to hand it to him.
I felt small and grateful.
Small because he typically gives me credit, far beyond what I deserve. Ultimately, I do believe no one makes our decisions for us. We make them ourselves, and as a result of our decisions - we make our lives. We pick from the content that exists in the world, and we choose to make some of it our own…
We share ideas… but how you live your life… you deserve all of the credit…
I focused back on him, standing by our Christmas tree and reading out loud in front of our dear friends…
“Mi amigo / Nest / Caballo / Big Man / Peruvian Nightmare… NeessstoooorrrrrrrBennnaaaavvvviiiiiidddddessssss:
When I drew your name earlier this year I had a combination of mixed emotions… My first emotion was happiness that I could gift someone that is so important to me. My second emotion was complacency as I figured it would be easy to gift someone who I am so aligned with spiritually, emotionally and mentally. Well that emotion didn’t last long and was quickly replaced by concern when I remembered by limited gift giving skills.
Soooo in typical Nestor Benavides style I started thinking… and I rolled up my sleeves and got busy brain storming on what I could give to the person, that other than my wife and parents, has done more to help me than anyone else… I thought about who you are, who I am and this is what I came up with…
You, mi amigo, are A GIFT… and I want to THANK YOU for everything that you have done for me, my family, our friends, and our community…
You are A GIFT because you are a Poet Warrior, of Harmony, Truth, and Goodness… this unique blend combo of Buddha, Yoda and an Army Sergeant all wrapped in one complex and fascinating package.
You are A GIFT because you are a LIFELONG LEARNER and a GREAT IDEAS SHARER – there is no one else in my universe that has their own email folder where I save golden nuggets of your wisdom. Ideas and impactful thougths. Do you realize how often I steal (I mean re-purpose) your content ?? ;-) Here are some of my faves; 5 Love Languages, Fierce Conversations, What will Matter, Start with Why, Ted Talks, The Power of Vulnerability, and the list goes on and on…. Born to Run, White Tiger, Unbroken…
You are A GIFT because you are a BIG THINKER and a DREAMER – you see the forest AND the trees, your vision for what is and what can be, the fact that you don’t do anything half-assed (Peru anyone?). I’ll never forget when your eyes lit up when we started talking about my start up and you said, “That is a BIG idea.” … your plans for EMG, your family,… it is inspirational…
You are A GIFT because you are COMFORTABLE in DISCOMFORT. (or at least you fake it). I didn’t know you as a younger man, but what I gather and have pieced together through conversations and your writing is that what you experienced with Dee and Ana, your father, and some of your social insecurities have driven you to embrace THE GRIND which has in turn made you STRONG… you have taught me the importance of dealing with change and getting out of your comfort zone.
You are A GIFT because of your PASSION and FIERCE DETERMINATION – as you know, you are a stubborn and willful SOB and when you connect that with a noble cause it is incredible because you never quit. I love running with you, but one of the reasons I drive to our meeting place is because I don’t have to run as far as Peruvian ass! You remember the time we were going on a “20 mile” bike ride that somehow mysteriously turned into a 50 miler because you took a “wrong turn”. Lots of great memories with you from the Columbia Triathlon, to the Tough Mudders, to the runs around Centennial… I will never forget the talks we’ve have while we run.
You are A GIFT because of your LIFE PHILOSOPHY… “I went Sky Diving, I went Rocky Mountain Climbing… I went 2.7 seconds …” you know the song – you gave it to me on a playlist many years ago and it captures the spirit of how you live – without fear, without pettiness, without concern for the past, living in the moment, one conversation at a time with an appreciation and gratitude knowing that ifyour number is called you will have no regrets… because you live life the way it should be lived – with purpose and in harmony. I will never forget how you helped me when our friend died (see attached email) and specifically how you help make sense of the bad stuff…
You are A GIFT because of your LOVE of ADVENTURE and EXPERIENCES – Alta, Snowbird, Katie & Joe, Honey Pig, The Movies, Tough Mudders, Triathlons, your family trips around the world always remind me of doing and trying new things.
Although the previous reasons for you being A GIFT are not ranked, I have saved your MOST PRECIOUS GIFT for last…
You are A GIFT because you BUILD PEOPLE UP. My business is growing and it makes me smile thinking about how you have helped me on this journey since the very first time we met and I was a crabass because I had a terrible day at work… I consider you to be the TERMINATOR or SELF DOUBT and WORRY.
Now that I am so happy to be on my own, I realize how you helped me find the keys that were hidden in my own pocket to unlock my potential… You believed in me sometimes more than I believed in myself and for that mi amigo, I will always be grateful. It clearly is not just me that you have helped, or why else would more than 50 people fly to your party next year?
Looking forward to sharing our new chapters together – it is going to be an amazing ride!
Your friend in harmony”
He attached various emails & poems that he found especially enlightened…and I was touched that he had kept them. Part of the gift, was me going back and re-reading them, and remembering them. Sometimes my words sound better months or years after... like a left over meal, the flavors have somehow blended together in a way that didn't quite taste the first time you tried it.
I feel truly embarrassed rewriting this letter, and sharing it with you… that is why it has taken me a month to share it... and I do, because I want to acknowledge and thank my dear friend for writing it…
And, because I want to continue to work to hear it… own it… and aspire to it.
It’s funny, I live trying to accomplish something and then when someone tells me that perhaps I am creating the value that I wish to have on those I love, I shrink away…
I realize that I like the light shining in my general direction, but spotlights make me cringe... light helps me see and lights up everything and everyone around me... spotlights make it seem like I deserve to be acknowledged alone... and I don't exist alone... and ultimately I don't exist for the spotlight... I exist to be part of those creating light... in general.
I know so very little and am blessed to have such wonderful family and friends to fill my days and my heart…
I heard a line yesterday on a TV show… “Man stands alone… his family and his friends are his echo.” I like that thought… that people that are closest to you echo who you are…
I write, not because I know, but because I love to think, and I love to learn, and I find great comfort in the reality that we are all learning together… and can benefit from similar lessons and observations.
We are all GIFTS to each other in this world, and realizing that makes every day so much more joyful, and makes us so much more grateful…
I pause, and I think about each and EVERY GIFT that has touched my heart… every one of you…
Thank you for being part of this harmony conversation, thank you for seeing me and my words...
as it makes you part of A VERY SPECIAL AND MEANINGFUL GIFT to me...
you are my light.
In harmony,
Nestor