We were having this amazing dinner with some colleagues and my wife and the conversation got a little philosophical...
I am not sure what triggered the thought, but I said,
"Most people are unhappy... They live unhappy lives!"
"Why?", someone asked immediately, with genuine curiosity.
I heard myself talking, and my brain was struggling to catch up with my words, and evaluating my own thoughts...
"Three things" I said. (Sincerely, as I said it, I wondered to myself what they were).
"First, most people don't take the time to figure out, to understand their purpose. Most people don't come up with their own answer to 'Why they exist'. And, without a clear purpose, it's hard to feel sustainable joy."
"Second, most people don't commit themselves to a discipline, a mindfulness, a practice of joy and happiness. Most people want to be happy, but they don't adopt a discipline for it. Why do we expect to accomplish something without developing a mastery through a deliberate practice?"
"And, third, most people don't 'frame' their life in the right context. Most people frame their lives focused on the deficiencies they are trying to resolve or fill, and not on the abundance of blessings that they have received. Most of us because of some lack of the first or second points, succumb to the 'noise' in the world, and from our own ego, suggesting we 'need' more to be happy."
I smile now as I write this, because who am I to know what the three things are (or even if there are three and not 10). But, because it's included in your price of membership ;-) I thought I'd share the conversation with you.
Do you agree with these three?
As I think about the conversation two additional thoughts come to mind;
Perhaps I left out the most important component of joy... Or perhaps it is a further clarification of the first point... Our purpose to be truly happy must be greater than ourselves. If we are not serving others with our purpose, I believe, we will always struggle to truly know happiness.
And, of course, happiness requires us to realize and embrace that happiness and unhappiness ONLY exists in the moment.
There is, at the end of the day, a consistency to my madness ;-)
What I should have said from the beginning is,
"I believe, most people experience many more unhappy moments than happy ones...
Most people experience many more moments of disharmony than harmony..."
Because that is more accurate to how we experience life...
in moments...
and, if we work on it deliberately...
in harmony,
Nestor