I wonder…

At what moment…

did my beard turn white,

did my joints start to ache,

did my eyes turn serious?

 

At which moment…

did my smile deepen,

did my heart expand,

did time speed up.

 

When exactly…

Did my boys grow into men,

Did my mama forget my name,

Did I lose my fear of loneliness.

 

When exactly, was I no longer

afraid of the dark,

afraid of failure,

afraid of death?

 

At what moment really…

did I succeed,

did I stop feeling guilty,

did I own my life …

 

It was recently, 

That I stopped looking for a single answer,

That I found gratitude,

That I embraced harmony…

 

We don’t achieve a life of success.

We don’t experience a lifetime of happiness.

We don’t suffer a lifetime of regret.

 

Our life, success, suffering, happiness

Happens

One moment

At a time…

 

And, then we get to look back…

And wonder how many we missed…

And

celebrate all the ones we didn’t…

 

Truth is…

It doesn’t really matter at what exact moment

any

one thing

happened.

 

What matters is –

How aware am I of THIS moment?

What fears still haunt me?

What dreams still inspire

my

want?

 

How grateful am I

to have;

the wrinkles in my smile,

the miles under my feet,

the love in my heart,

the people in my life,

and,

this

deep

and

delicious

breath…

 

in harmony,

Nestor

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