So much to write...
so little time.
I promise I will soon....
For now, I will leave you with this thought...
Are you aware of your harmony and disharmony? Do you pause to notice how different it feels?
I ran a triathlon on Sunday. 14 years in a row. I received lovely support from the family and friends, and in my heart I felt disharmony. I took off 10 minutes from last year. I felt really strong, but the feeling that owned me was, "I wish I was in better shape".
Sunday night we had a difficult conversation with my son. We are struggling with the right balance for independence. The feeling that owned me was wishing he was happier with his life.
Yesterday afternoon, I realized I double booked myself for today. I signed up for a field trip to New York, and had also committed to spend half a day with a friend I love to brainstorm our lives strategies together. The depth of disharmony I felt for having let him down was massive. "I wish I had been more careful. At a minimum, I wish I would have communicated it to him weeks ago when I noticed the double booking as I meant to, but somehow forgot to." The feeling that owned me was, "I wish I hadn't been so careless. I wish I hadn't forgotten to communicate with him, that I could do something to make this conflict disappear."
I notice my harmony and disharmony every day. I feel it, but I feel it deliberately. In most cases, kind of like tasting something without actually digesting it...
The miss with the scheduling for today had multiple dimensions.
The disharmony taste was like a pure extract.
And, I notice as I continue to grow in my understanding that I am careful and deliberate with my disharmony. I don't often let it linger. It doesn't mean that I was not deeply embarrassed or disappointed, but it means that I come back to... and I get to deliver on one of my two promises today and spend the day with my son in New York and I am fortunate for many reasons to be able to do that.
The disharmony of wanting to be more fit is harder to taste without digesting, and that's because of fatigue. I have felt that disharmony for a long, long time. And, I am showing up in the next moment and trying to change my behaviors yet again. I have to remind myself that as disappointed as I am with my results from Sunday, they are still better than most of my times over the past 14 years, and I enjoyed the race itself more.
There are momentary diaharmonies and persistent disharmonies that stay with us. Be careful with the ones that linger over time. They grow roots and are harder to dislodge ;-)
Tony Robbins says our brains are designed to be in a constant state of "stress"... that is our physiology. We look for things to worry about.
The key, he suggests, is developing the ability to quickly redirect, reinterpret, and reframe those thoughts into a better context.
Indeed...
Every moment has components of disharmony and harmony...
Every pleasure is a compromise...
Every challenge is an opportunity...
Be mindful of your harmony
AND your disharmony.
Dont expect not to feel both - that's not realistic nor rational. At least not until we reach a level of high enlightenment - that term makes more and more sense to me everyday.
NOTICE your feelings... and use them not to flavor your day but to guide your mind... use them to steer...
I am thinking of you my friend, and love that we have a connection so deep that I get the pleasure of missing it and wanting more of it.
And, while riding North on 95, breathing deep and feeling grateful that my life affords me the means and the time to take a day with my son AND that technology allows me to stay connected to you... (And, to work ;-)
Are you aware of your harmony and disharmony? Do you pause to notice how different it feels?
Notice it and USE it to steer more often and more deliberately...
toward harmony,
Nestor